All Alone

 by Adalisa Marie R. (ages 14-17)

Chapter 1

 Fourteen year old Emma Porter lifted a glass of water to her father’s parched lips. Fear and grief clutched at her galloping heart as she knew her father was dying and there was nothing she could do. She could not even fetch a doctor for none would be willing to come for what little they had to offer. All she could do was watch, wait, and comfort her loving father as death came. Tenderly, she tucked the threadbare blanket around his frail form.

“Emma,” his weak voice croaked.

“Yes, Father?” she placed a gentle hand on his arm as she looked up into her father’s kind blue eyes.

Lifting a feeble hand, he pushed a strand of Emma’s wavy golden hair behind her ear, “You look just like your mother.”

Thoughts of her beautiful mother who had passed away a few years ago drifted through Emma’s mind. She turned her face away to hide the tears that slid down her cheeks. 

“Emma, go open my trunk. Inside you will find a little box.” Setting down the cup, Emma hurried over to the trunk. The lid’s hinges creaked as she opened it. With care, she lifted out the bundle of clothes on top to reveal an oak box carved in flowers and vines. The top felt like satin to her fingertips as she conveyed it to her father’s lap.  Despite his shaking hands, he opened the lid and took out a painting of a sunset. Gazing at it, her observant blue eyes took in the pinks, oranges, and golds of the sight she had heard about but never seen.

“It’s beautiful!”

“Your mother painted it and now it’s yours,” he placed it into her eager hands. Sadness filled his eyes, “Your mother lived in the country where it is so beautiful and bright.  She loved watching the magnificent display of each sunset. It always reminded her of Psalm 19:1, ‘The heavens declare the glory of God; And the firmament showeth his handiwork.’”

A sob caught in his throat, “She liked to think of the sky as one of God’s beautiful paintings.” Hope shone in his face, “Someday I want you to go away from this crowded city to live in the country where you can see the things your mother loved and enjoy the painted sky.”

“I will, Father.” Torrents of tears dripped down her cheeks and plopped onto her faded blue flower print dress. Hugging her father, she whispered into his ear, “I love you!”

Deep inside she knew there would be no reply. His shallow breathing rapidly came to a halt as the shadow of death crept over his face. Her heart dropped to her toes, “Father!”  Emma collapsed to the rough floor boards in a heap crying as if never to stop. She shook a clenched fist in the air. “God, why did you let this happen to me?”

Sobbing, she clutched her mother’s painting close to her heart. I’m alone. All alone. Even God has deserted me!

 

Chapter 2

 “Father, why did you have to die?” Emma mumbled to the window as the train rumbled along the tracks. Memories of her father lying motionless flashed through her mind. No! That was not how she wanted to remember him.

Pulling her mother’s painting out of her satchel, she turned it over and over in her hands. She wanted to remember him full of life. Most of all, she wanted to remember those days when her mother and father were not only tender words tucked away in the depths of her heart, but living people who loved and cared for her.

A sharp tug on her braid ripped her out of the land of once upon a time shoving her into reality. Spinning around she found herself face to face with a sneering freckled face boy. “You're nothing but a wretched orphan,” he burst out with a mixed expression of pride and disgust. “You probably stole that painting. How else did it get into the hands of a dirty orphan?”

It took all her strength to restrain herself from giving him a black eye. For now, an imaginary one had to suffice.

Nothing but a wretched orphan, the words echoed again and again. I’m an orphan! Scooting away from the boy’s grasp, she found herself all the more closer to the window. She crossed her arms across her chest.

Nasty, rich old Aunt Margaret! Why did she have to send me away on the orphan train?

She shivered at the thought of all the eyes staring at her at the past stops and the pity felt in their gaze whenever it rested on her slim and weak body. The strong were chosen, but nobody wanted her. Lonely tears slipped down her cheeks as she leaned her forehead against the cool glass of the window and closed her eyes with a sigh.

Nobody wants me. She clenched her fists. I don’t want them!

Her eyes flew open as the loud screeching of brakes filled the air and the rhythmic sway of the train came to a stop. This was California, the last stop. Only a handful of orphans made it this far.

Rigidly, Emma stood up. After collecting her wits, she joined the single file line of orphans that passed her.  She cautiously stepped onto the train platform to be observed by several families. When their gaze rested on her, she stared back, standing tall, and showing no fear.

Her heart twinged while one by one children were gathered into their new parents’ arms. Blinking away tears, she was determined not to cry. I am the only one left!

She glanced down at her worn shoes, but the pride surging through her made her raise her head in time to see a couple looking at her with something strange and new in their eyes.

 

Chapter 3

 

“Whoa,” Riley Prescot tugged on the reins causing the wagon to come to a stop in front of a cozy two story ranch house. “Here it is, Emma. Our home and now yours,” Riley jumped from the wagon to help Andrea down.

Home? She thought furling her eyebrows. How could any place be home without my parents? Springing down, she took in her surroundings. While Andrea carried the sleeping two year old Henry into the house, Riley and twelve year old Jared led the horses into the grand cherry red barn. Emma took a deep breath of the fresh spring air while she watched seven year old Edward and four year old Marie giggle on the swing. Everything seemed so bright and happy except for her.

Why did my parents die and this family not have any sorrow? She clenched her teeth. Why does this world have to be so unfair?

A tremendous bird flew through the bright blue sky that contrasted with the luscious green grass of the horse peppered pasture below. The ten year old twins Charlotte and Lillian leaned against the fence admiring the horses. Drifting over the horses of miscellaneous colors a silver buckskin caught Emma’s eye as she clutched the rough wooden fence.

The sunlight seemed to smile upon the earth making the mare’s silver coat gleam as her black stocking hooves pranced toward Emma. It lifted its head to stare at her with its curious, large eyes as she stretched out a gentle hand to touch the sleek body. Pinning its ears back, the horse reared before fleeing with its tail and mane flying behind. Its muscles rippled as it galloped away strong as a lion, scared as a mouse, and unpredictable as lighting. Emma sighed.

“I see you made the acquaintance of our newest horse,” Lillian flipped her braids of brown over her shoulder.

“What is her name?”

Charlotte clambered up to the top rail of the fence, “She doesn’t have one. Dad rescued her from an abusive owner; he thinks she is the daughter of Moonglow, a fine stallion he sold years ago. Somehow the filly got into the wrong hands. By the time we found her she was in a sorry state.”

Lillian looked across the meadow, “She has regained her health but not her confidence. She won’t let anyone ride her.”

“Dinner time!” Henry yelled, waving his spoon in the air. The sound of clattering feet rang out as the children hurried to the house.

Emma turned around for one last look at the mare, who seemed a piece of wind and sky as it galloped over the pasture. Windy. That’s what I’ll call you. 

 

Chapter 4

 

Gasping, Emma sat straight up in bed. Milky moonlight streamed through the window falling upon her pale tearstained face. Turning over, she buried her head in a pillow. “Mother, Father, why did you have to die?” she murmured. “It's not fair my parents are dead while their family is perfect,” she grumbled looking down on the twins before creeping out of the room for a breath of fresh air. Her fingers felt their way through the darkness down the staircase to the light streaming out of the slightly open kitchen doorway.

Emma peeked inside in time to witness Riley raise one of the floorboards to reveal a battered metal box. The noise of coins clinking against each other resounded as he set the box in front of Andrea.

Riley looked up at his wife with a grin, “The man who bought the bay colt gave us a very good price.”

Emma pinned herself to the wall, craning her neck to hear the rest of the conversation. Riley continued, “Enough so we can go on the trip.”

Andrea gasped, “Oh, Riley! It will be so fun to take the kids to Yosemite and show them all the things we saw on our honeymoon! We will show them the falls, take them camping, and…”

“Definitely not retrieve honey from angry bees,” Riley cut in thoughtfully remembering the last time he had played beekeeper.

“What?” Andrea declared with a giggle, “Deprive yourself of getting your wife some golden treasure?”

“I still feel the stings from last time!” he retorted. “This time if you want honey, I will buy it and leave the beekeeping to someone else!” Laughter from both erupted.

Emma quickly retraced her steps back to bed. The breath of fresh air could wait until tomorrow. An idea was forming in her thoughts, but now was not the time to act on it.

 

 

Chapter 5

 

“It’s time for family devotions,” Riley proclaimed after Emma dried the last supper dish handing it to Charlotte to put away. A month had passed since she first came to Memory Creek Ranch, so she had become used to the daily routine.

Once Riley and his wife had been seated in the parlor with their children surrounding them, Riley opened his well-worn leather Bible. Sitting on a chair near the window, Emma watched the sky as it slowly dimmed.

“All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned everyone to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all,” Riley read aloud with a short discussion, prayer, and hymn following.

Emma’s thoughts wandered in the evening twilight outside. She remembered how Riley had taught her how to gentle and ride Windy as soon as he discovered Emma’s interest in the once skittish mare. Next, she recalled the gorgeous wooden frame Jared made for her mother’s painting.  And, a twinge of glee almost appeared on her face as her thoughts drifted to little Henry’s silly antics, but just as quickly as a smile was about to appear her thoughts wiped her face clean of all happiness. 

They are only kind to me, because they pity me. And, over and over again the same two words erupted the anger within, No fair!

At the stillness after the last chords, Emma’s thoughts were brought back to present.  Once the hymnals were put away, Riley commanded, “Now, off to bed.” The little ones’ rebuttal of groans broke out until Lillian’s dancing fingers came to the rescue. Gracing the children’s little ears with their favorite marching song, the frowns turned back into smiles as they marched in a single file line around the room and upstairs.

Henry took the lead waving his little hands shouting, “March!”

Emma pushed past the procession with heavy feet to her room where she dressed into her nightgown and crawled into bed. After one last look at her mother’s painting, she pulled the quilt over herself and waited. 

 

Chapter 6

 

Emma silently departed from her comfortable bed. Reaching over the bedside table, she seized her mother’s painting and carefully placed it into her knapsack. She quietly slung the sack over her shoulder and felt her way downstairs to the loose floorboard where she snatched the family’s precious metal box.

They won’t be such a happy family when they find out their money is missing, she smirked while quietly shutting the kitchen door behind her.

The moon hung like a lantern in the sky lighting up the path to the barn below. Emma hurried to Windy’s stall where her nimble fingers fastened the familiar buckles of the old saddle and the two rode off into the darkness.

As they got further away, Emma turned around for one last glimpse of the ranch house, “So long,” she whispered. “I don't need your pity.”

An hour went by as she rode away guiding herself by the moonlight. She looked up at the moon as it disappeared behind a threatening dark cloud. Before she could blink an eye, rain pounded the earth with a furry. Whistling wind roared in her ears and blew her damp hair into her face, while Windy’s hooves slid in the rapidly forming mud.                               

Everything was pitch black until a burst of lightning streamed across the sky causing the frightened girl to jump and her mount to bolt a few steps. Emma’s muscles tensed. Fear tingled up and down her spine as she tried to calm the nervous horse. Another bolt of lightning ripped through the sky hitting the ground in front of her with a resounding boom. Windy reared on her hind legs hurling her rider to the ground before galloping away without even a backward glance.  

Once again, Emma was all alone.

 

Chapter 7

 

The sound of hoofbeats roused Emma as she lay curled up asleep. What am I doing here? She wondered as she looked around the small old empty shack. Suddenly, the memories came back like one of the speedy flashes that lit up the sky the night before. The storm, rearing horse, and stumbling upon this refuge when all hope seemed lost came back to her.

“Emma, are you here?” a familiar voice called.

Jumping up, Emma threw the door wide open to see Andrea riding her chocolate palomino, Shasta. A spark of joy lit Andrea’s gentle blue eyes as she dismounted and wrapped Emma in a warm embrace, “Oh, Emma! Thank God that I found you! I've been so worried.” Andrea took a good look at Emma’s dirt crusted attire and wildly tangled hair, “Are you okay?”

Emma pulled herself away, “I’m fine, but you don’t really care. You just want your precious money back,” she sneered, lifting the battered box out of her knapsack.

Andrea’s eyes grew wide as Emma thrust it into her hands. Confusion spread across Andrea’s face, “I didn’t even know it was missing. When I saw Windy wandering around with a saddle on, I knew something was terribly wrong. We looked all over the house but couldn’t find you. Riley, the ranch hands, and I have been looking for you for hours.”

“Everyone is looking for me?”

“Of course, we love you. You’re part of our family.” Andrea paused, then continued, “Do you mind telling me what happened?”

 Emma felt a crack in the hard exterior of her heart emerge. She poured forth the whole story and concluded, “I guess, I’m like the runaway sheep Riley read about yesterday.”

“All of us are like those sheep.”

“But, you didn’t run away.”

Chuckling, Andrea continued to Emma’s astonishment, “I actually have run away before, but in the Bible, going our own way means doing all the things God instructs us not to do.”

“Then, it seems all of us are in a pretty sorry state.”

“Yes, we would be if Jesus, the good shepherd, didn’t come looking for us, his lost sheep. But, thankfully he did.” Shiny tears shone in Andrea’s eyes, “He even died for us so we can live in Heaven with him someday. We just respond with faith in Him and obedience to Him in gratitude.”

Emma had heard this story from her father many times, but her ears had been closed to her father’s teachings. Now, she felt like was truly seeing it for the first time. “Is it easy to follow him?”

“Not always. There are troubles and you still will sin, but he will be there to help you and carry you through.”

Emma’s eyes met Andrea’s, “I was like the lost sheep and you came to look for me.” Throwing herself into Andrea’s arms she burst into tears, “I’m sorry. I was so jealous and angry that God let my parents die and your family seems so perfectly happy.”

“I’m sorry about your parents, Emma,” she hugged her tighter. Together they walked back to Shasta, “Let's go home.”

“Home,” Emma whispered the bittersweet word as they rode away.

 

Chapter 8

 

Emma lifted a fork laden with the last bite of her birthday cake to her lips. Spring had gone swiftly and now summer had arrived bringing her birthday along with it. She was still hurting, but love, laughter, and prayer were plentiful for helping her to get through. “May I go on a ride?”

“Of course,” Andrea answered with a smile. “But here’s one more thing.”

Emma’s eyebrows raised, “I’ve already opened all my presents.”

“A package came addressed to you. I think you may want to open it on your ride.” Emma looked up in time to see Andrea wink at her husband.

Cradling the package in her hands, Emma rushed to the barn. Upon entering, she froze with gasps of delight at the sight of Windy’s elaborate new saddle and bridle. Emma admired the carvings. Oh, Andrea and Riley are so kind. Holding tightly to the package, she galloped away, resolving to tell them thank you for her unexpected birthday gift upon her return.

When she arrived at a tall tree with its beautiful display of branches twisting up to heaven, she stopped the horse and jumped down. Ripping open the package, she read the letter addressed to her in Aunt Margaret's swirly handwriting, “Dear Emma, I thought your father would want you to have this.”

Out of the parcel she withdrew her father’s worn leather Bible to reveal another letter that emerged from its pages.

 

Dear Emma,

Happy Birthday! I thought I might get a head start on your letter in advance, so you won’t have to wait until a month later like last year. I know these past few years since your mother’s death have been very hard for you, but you have stepped up to fill her shoes. You have been working very hard and I appreciate you so much. Not a day goes by that I do not thank God for giving you to me.

When I pray, I ask God to help you love him, follow him, and serve him in whatever you do. It has been bittersweet watching you grow and blossom into a beautiful young woman. I have trust in God that whatever happens to you will be His best plan even if we don’t always fully understand. Someday I would love for you to enjoy the painted sky of the countryside, but the Lord’s will be done. I love you; never forget it.

Love,

Father

Emma read and reread the letter with tears in her eyes. She wished it wasn’t too late to tell her father how much she loved him, but she could tell Riley and Andrea. She raced back to the house.

As soon as she jumped down from Windy’s back, Emma was in Riley and Andrea’s waiting arms. “I love you. Thank you for loving me even when I wasn’t able to love you.” Tears rolled down their cheeks as they squeezed her even tighter.

Emma looked out into the pink and gold sunset.  Father’s wish came true. I am living under the painted sky. She knew Riley and Andrea could never take her parents' place in her heart, but with the help of God, there was enough room for all. Gazing into their eyes once again, she discovered the same look she had seen when they had met. Now, she knew what that look was…Love. She was not alone.

With her eyes now open, Emma’s heart could embrace the fact that she was never all alone.