Forgiving the Past

 by Maddy E. (ages 10-13)

 

“Good evening!”  Mitch greeted cheerfully, entering the kitchen.  Striding into the dining room, he planted a kiss on Mother’s cheek before taking his seat between Andi and Justin.

“How was riding?”  He queried in a whispered voice, leaning near Andi.

“Good!”  Though Andi mentioned little in her reply, Mitch noticed by the sparkle in her eyes she had enjoyed a splendid Saturday on the ranch, riding Taffy.  

Mitch grinned.

“Let’s pray,” Justin said.  The Carter clan bowed their heads as the eldest sibling blessed the meal.

A moment later, the room echoed with amens and everyone dug into the scrumptious supper.  

“Louisa and Nila really out did themselves tonight,” Mitch noted, complimenting their two housekeepers.

“Indeed they did.  This chicken is deli-”

The sound of a doorbell ringing cut into Mother’s comment.  “Why, I wonder who that could be?”  Mother marveled.  

“Won’t have to wait long,” Chad murmured as the door to the dining room flew open.  

“Senor Chad, this man wants to see you.”

Chad rose from the table.  “Thanks, Louisa.”

The aged Mexican woman nodded and exited silently.  

Chad reached out and shook the strange man’s hand.  “What can I help you with, sir?”

The unusual man glanced around uneasily, as if hiding something.  Mitch caught his gaze and held it.  

He sure looks mighty familiar.  Mitch wracked his brain, but came up empty.  

Finally, the man ducked his head, suddenly avoiding eye contact.  “Sorry to interrupt y’all, but I came hoping to get a job.”

Chad raised his eyebrows.  “Oh?”

“Yes, sir,” the man said, trying to summon confidence he clearly lacked.  “I’d like to work for you.”

Chad glanced at his family, clearly torn between ranch business or sitting down to supper with his family.  “Why don’t we talk tomorrow?”  Chad offered, looking longingly at his seat at the table, where there sat a plate nearly overflowing with chicken, gravy, and a wide assortment of vegetables.  

The mysterious man nodded.  “That’s fine.”

“Do you mind riding back into town?” Chad asked, then added,  “There’s a mighty nice hotel in Fresno.”

The man nodded again.  “That’ll be just fine,” he repeated.

Chad slapped him on the back.  “I’ll see you out.”

Chad returned to his spot at the table a moment later.  “I’m almost positive I recognize that man from someplace.  If only I knew where,” Chad shook his head, thrusting a fork loaded with chicken into his mouth.

“I was thinking the same thing, big brother,” Mitch voiced his opinion aloud.

“Maybe you should have asked for his name,” Mother put in.

Chad shifted his focus to Mother.  He released a sigh.  “Come to think of it, I don’t know why I didn’t.”

Melinda giggled.  Andi joined in.  Even Mother appeared to be suppressing a smile.

Justin and Mitch exchanged grins.  

“Okay, okay, I was a little unprofessional,” Chad admitted, throwing his hands in the air with exasperation, but Mitch caught the twitch in Chad’s lips. 

The room grew silent again, with only the clinks of forks coming into contact with plates.  The matter appeared settled, until Chad spoke.

“But the whole situation seemed a bit fishy if you ask me,” he said, coming back to his own defense.  

Mitch smiled, but deep within he couldn’t ignore the spurts of dread rushing through his head.  Something was not right.

 

Mitch pounded down the porch steps.  In the distance, the sun was displaying itself in an array of oranges, reds, and streaks of blue as it began to peak over the sierras.  The sides of Mitch’s mouth turned upward at the sight.

Breakfast had been served early, while the moon was still clearly visible in the sky.  Chad had requested the early meal last night, making the excuse of having much work to accomplish before noon.  The family obliged, and after a meal of eggs and pancakes, Mitch’s energy was revived and he felt assured he could endure the long ranch day ahead of him.

“Hey Mitch!”  Chad called, trotting up beside his little brother and greeting him with a slap on the back.  Chad motioned his head to the driveway.  “Looks like that guy has come back bright and early.  Think you could scope him out?  You know, decide if he’d be good to have around.”

Mitch nodded slowly, stealing a glance at the barn.  Oh, how nice it would be to saddle Chase and go for a long ride.  He could check fence and-

“So can you take care of it?”  Chad double-checked.

Heat creeped to Mitch’s cheeks at being caught daydreaming.  Why, I’m acting like Andi.  Mitch chuckled at the comparison.  “Sure, big brother,” Mitch agreed good-naturally.  Chad was the ranch boss, and besides, Mitch was awfully curious about this man.

“Just get the basics and if he seems promising, show him to a bunkhouse and give him a job,” Chad instructed.  “I trust you’ll make the right decision,” he added, already off to mount Sky.

Mitch was still for a moment, deep in thought.  However, the sound of approaching hoof beats brought him back and he turned to go meet this possible co-worker.

“Howdy!”  Mitch said in a friendly voice.  

“Howdy to you, too!”  The voice returned the greeting.  He pulled on the reins and dismounted near the barn.  Mitch jogged over.

“Mind if I ask you a few questions?  You know, before we hire you…” Mitch’s voice trailed off.  

The man smiled.  “I understand.”

Mitch grinned his relief and waved the man over to a spot just outside the barn doors, though a safe distance from any passing cow hands who had a yearn to eavesdrop.

The man stood beside Mitch and removed his hat, running a hand through his fiery red hair.

Boy oh boy, he sure looked mighty familiar.  I suppose I won’t have to wait long before I find out who he is.

“I’m Mitch.  What’s your name?”  Mitch began, already tensing up under the solemn circumstances.

The man chuckled at Mitch’s serious expression.  “Young man, I’m a might bit surprised you don’t already know that,” the guy ducked his head, a smile splitting across his face.  It was a friendly expression, but a skitter went up Mitch’s spine anyway.  “I’m Ben.  Ben Fuller,” the man thrust out his hand, then added, “it doesn’t appear you remember me, but I sure remember you, though you’ve changed an awful lot in the past years,” Ben smile faded, and his voice dropped to a nearly a whisper.  “You’ve also matured beyond your years, and I’m afraid I played a mighty big part in that.”

All the pieces in Mitch’s mind suddenly clicked.  The recognition, why the man knew him, it all fitted together into a perfect puzzle.  

Shock, followed by a heart-wrenching sorrow, engulfed Mitch.  Tears threatened to spill over, but he blinked furiously.  He couldn’t speak, but rather staggered backward and lost his balance. 

Ben reached out a steady hand and gripped Mitch’s shaking shoulder, preventing him from falling to the ground.  Then he pulled the grown boy into a hug.  

Mitch didn’t protest at the sudden act of love, but rather felt his body going limp in the strong arms.  All worries and fear were suddenly chased away and replaced with overwhelming grief, accompanied by questions.  

Mitch started to push himself away after a moment, and Ben stepped back.  He grasped both Mitch’s shoulders and stared into his deep blue eyes.  Mitch thought he saw Ben’s lip quiver.

“Listen, young man.  I know this has got to be quite a surprise.  Take as much time as you need to recover.  Tell your family, if you want, and the ranch hands.  I’m going to go make myself useful in the barn or elsewhere until you can catch your breath.”  Ben paused, then added with forced cheerfulness, “I take it you’re no longer worried about me stealing or anything like that?”

Mitch nodded numbly, but didn’t smile.  Instead, he took off for the house, all the while salty droplets danced in his eyes  Choking down a sob, he entered the house through the kitchen, hoping to get to his room before anyone noticed.

Louisa caught him just as he was about to spring up the steps.  “Senor Mitch,” she said in a concerned voice.  “Are you alright?”  

Mitch shrugged and bolted for to the safety of his room before bursting into tears.

 

It was fifteen minutes before Mitch was able to get a grip on his emotions.  Why, oh why, had Ben returned after all these years of absence?

Maybe to make things right.  An inner voice prodded Mitch.

Mitch grimaced at the thought, still not fully convinced, though he knew the man  must carry a blanket of guilt.  After all, if he had stayed on his horse, Father would likely still be alive.  But the long ago cowhand’s greenhorn mistake of dismounting during roundup had evoked penalties.  When a stallion came running for Ben, the Carter brothers and Father rushed to the scene.  That’s when the wild horse turned on Father, and Father had been kill-

Another round of tears threatened to spill over, but Mitch took a deep breath.  “I’ve got to get back to work,” he determined, and rose from his bed.

Five minutes later, when Mitch entered the barn to mount Chase, he found Ben with a pitchfork and wheelbarrow.  Mitch’s heart tore at the sight of this not yet hired ranch hand doing the most unpleasant job possible: mucking stalls.

“Ben!”  

Ben turned at the sound.  When he spotted Mitch, he flashed a smile.  

Mitch gulped.  Ben clearly was here to make things right.  Should I invite him to supper?  Mitch contemplated, but dismissed the matter with a slight shake of his head.  No, Mitch himself need a time of rest with his family, without Ben in the room.  It wasn’t that Ben was bad, but the sight of him brought back too many painful memories.  Perhaps in a few days, Ben could be given a better welcome, once healing took it’s toll. Mitch cocked his head.  Healing?  I don’t think so.  Mitch’s heart ached, nearly as bad as the day Father had passed.

“I’m going to go check on some fencing,” Mitch declared, trying to make his words come out clear and bold.  “Why don’t you take your stuff on to one of the bunkhouses?”  Mitch took a deep breath.  “Should I let the family know tonight, or do you want to tell them?”

“I’ll break the news,” Ben replied hastily, then nodded as if to confirm his decision.  “Yes, I’ll tell your family…” He hesitated, “And I’ll also explain why I’m here.”

Mitch’s heart raced.  “When?”

“Can I drop by the house after supper?  Meet you in the library, perhaps?”

“Sure.  Come by about seven,” was all Mitch said as he took off for the exit in a hurry.  The familiar face of Ben reminded Mitch of old times, and Mitch didn’t react fast enough.  Now, as he was mounting Chase, those scenes that took place so long ago wedged themself into Mitch’s mind, and with those memories came tears.

 

“You’re awfully quiet tonight,” Mother remarked during supper.

Mitch looked up with a start and grinned.  His lips twitched at the forced movement.  “Just deep in thought, I suppose.”

The family looked at him curiously but didn’t prod farther.  Even Chad seemed to sense something was up and didn’t interrogate Mitch as to how the interview went. 

Good, Mitch thought with a sigh of relief.  He only had to endure the burden of his grieving secrets a bit longer.

 

The family was lounging in the library after supper, sipping coffee and enjoying talk, when Ben entered the room.  

Everybody looked at the man and stopped what they were doing, giving him their attention.  

“Howdy,” Chad called out, breaking the sheet of tension.  

Ben nodded his head in greeting, but Mitch thought he caught tear drops dancing about in his eyes.

“I’ve already told Mitch, but now I must break the news to you,” Ben cleared his throat.

Mitch stole a glance at the rest of his family.  Mother’s forehead was creased in a frown.

“I’m Ben Fuller,” he managed a smile at the looks of realization that pervaded the room.  Only Andi looked bewildered. 

“He’s that man who was on foot during the roundup accident,” Justin whispered in Andi’s ear.  A look of grief washed over her face.

Ben approached farther into the room and then began his explanation.  “I’ve always held myself accountable for James’s death.  As you all know, soon after that fateful day, I packed my stuff and took off.  I’ve been wandering throughout the west since, doing odd jobs on ranches and such.

“None of them have ever been as good as the Circle C,” Ben added with a twinkle in his eyes.  “I always had guilt.  If only I hadn’t made the mistake of dismounting my horse, James would still be-”  Ben choked.  

Justin held up his hand, motioning for the old cowhand to stop beating himself up, but Ben continued.

“You boys have matured.  Chad, you took over the ranch.  Mitch served as number one assistant all the while completing his schooling.  And Justin?  Why, you took over the role as man of the house.

“Andi and Melinda, you both grew up without a father, and to make it worse, had little memories to grip.  Elizabeth, you lost your constant companion long before anyone expected.”  Ben paused.  “Now I’ve come back to ask for forgiveness.”

The room grew silent.  Even Chad, who usually had loads to say, was quieter than a mouse.  Ben surveyed the room, then took a lounge and sank into the nearest chair.  He sighed.  “If you just want me to leave, I understand.”

Mother looked up abruptly, eyes alert.  “No, no, of course not.  You shall stay right here on the ranch.” She paused.  “And I for one forgive you.”

Agreement echoed throughout the room.  It was time to move past Father’s death once and for all.