Forgotten Love

 By Dinah R. (ages 14-17)

Eighteen-year-old Andrea “Andi” Carter jumped, startled by a knock on the door. She sat up and gently closed the journal she was holding before calling, “Come in.”

Mother glided in wearing a black silk dress. 

“How are you, dear?” was Mother’s question as she sat down on Andi’s bed with a ruffle and swish of silk.

“I’m fine, Mother. I was just reading Aunt Rebecca’s old journal.” Andi gazed at the wall across from her bed without blinking.

She was still a bit in shock. As soon as the telegram announcing Aunt Rebecca’s death had arrived, the Carters had packed up and gone to San Francisco. Mother and Justin had wanted to get everything all settled. After Aunt Rebecca’s funeral, an elegant and refined affair, they had opened and read the will. Aunt Rebecca had given a generous amount of money to each of her nieces and nephews. She had left the house and furniture to Katherine, Andi’s older sister, her jewels and silk gowns, to Mother and Melinda, and her old journal and a chest of memories to Andi.

“I don’t understand,” Andi finally whispered. “Why would Aunt Rebecca leave her journal to me?”

Mother looked at Andi for a long moment before replying, “Maybe she thought you could learn a lesson from her mistakes, Andrea. She loved you much more than you would ever have thought. Trying to reform you was the way she knew best to show her love to you.” Mother sighed heavily. “In return, you tried to escape from her presence as much as possible, and that hurt her. She thought you didn’t care about her at all.”

Andi stared at Mother, gaping. I think I remember Mother saying something like that before. I did love Aunt Rebecca, though. I’m sorry that I didn’t show my love for her before now.

Andi sighed and looked at her mother. “I did love Aunt Rebecca, and now I’m sad she’s gone.” A tear slid down Andi’s cheek.

Mother reached into her pocket and handed Andi a lacy handkerchief, before standing up and giving Andi a motherly embrace. As Andi returned the hug, Mother whispered in her ear, “I love you Andrea, but you need to think about your actions more.”

Andi sighed, lay back on her bed, and opened Aunt Rebecca’s journal.

 ----------------------------------

 Given to Rebecca Rose Carter by her loving Mama on her 18th birthday. I love you to the moon and back, Rebecca, and Jesus does, too. Remember this as you get older.

 

 July 12, 1830

I’m so glad Mama gave me this journal to write in. Today was just delightful. I adore the new gown Benjamin gave me, and the necklace James gave me matches it beautifully. Papa has finally consented to getting me a horse, and to prove it, he gave me a lovely sidesaddle. 

Also a piece of news I’m extremely pleased to report: Mr. Newfellow called to inquire if he could come calling, and Papa gave his assent.  I can’t wait!

Of course, the Tismonts came for supper. They’ve been family friends for many years, though I can’t find a reason to know why. Their family is quite poor, but I suppose Papa is still friends with Mr. Tismont, even though his business failed. I was entertained well the whole evening by Matthew. I’m quite comfortable with him, though he is poor.

Supper was quite a grand affair. There were ten courses, plus a scrumptious cake. I must admit, though, that I indulged in several more pieces than was ladylike.

 

July 14, 1830

Oh, I’m so happy. Mr. Newfellow came calling today. He is such a gentleman. He said he would come calling on Thursday to take me driving. I definitely can’t wait. We talked about house decorations, the opera, and beautiful horses, all mostly unrelated topics! I believe I shall like having him call.

 

July 15, 1830

Matthew Tismont came to call today. We had a delightful time. He stayed for tea and he was so polite to Mama and Papa. I was shocked at how time flew while we were talking. I thoroughly enjoyed the visit until he asked if he could come calling. When I told him that Mr. Newfellow was already coming to call, he looked quite disappointed. I was so sorry for rejecting him. I shan’t talk about it anymore.

 

July 20, 1830

Mr. Newfellow is so rich and kind. I believe he quite means to marry me. I hope so with all my heart. Just today he took me to the opera and to tea at a most expensive restaurant. He has completely charmed Mama and Benjamin, but Papa and James say that he seems suspicious. They haven’t told him that to his face, thank goodness. I absolutely refuse to believe their nonsensical revelations.

 

August 20, 1830

Oh, my! I had the most pleasant time. Mr. Newfellow (he’s asked me to call him Christopher, so of course I told him to call me Rebecca) took me to an excellent concert and gave me an exquisite necklace. It is a silver chain with a pearl pendant.

I showed it to my best friend Isabella “Belle” Shafford and she was so delighted. She says I’ll have a proposal of marriage before the year is over. I wouldn’t mind that myself.

I haven’t seen Matthew Tismont for several weeks. I suppose he’s disappointed because I told him Christopher was already courting me.

On September 5th Papa is hosting an autumn ball. Christopher has already asked for several dances.

 

September 4, 1830

Tomorrow is the ball! I think I shall burst if I have to wait any longer. Belle and I went shopping for new dresses yesterday. I obtained an emerald green silk dress with matching white gloves, a pink fan, a set of pearls, and splendid white pumps.

Belle is coming, as are the Tismonts, and Christopher. Papa has invited all of his business friends and their families. Mama invited her high society friends. I daresay this ball will be quite an affair.

 

September 6, 1830

Matthew Tismont came calling. I thought he was coming to call on me, but he asked for Papa. They talked for over an hour. I nearly died of curiosity the whole time they were in the parlor. I was also quite surprised when I heard that he wasn’t staying to tea.

Papa was quite upset the whole evening and kept casting anxious glances at me. After tea, when we had retired to the sitting room, he sent James, Benjamin, and I out. James and Benjamin went to bed, but I sat in my room and read a novel.

 

September 7, 1830

Today I learned what Papa was talking to Matthew Tismont about. I couldn’t believe it at first. Here’s what Papa told me.

It appears as though Christopher Newfellow is not the rich man we supposed him to be. He’s taken so many loans out of the bank that now he has a very large amount of debts to pay back. He was looking to marry a wealthy girl, so that his troubles would be solved.

I am absolutely furious that he would dare to fraud our family in such a way, myself included! I also learned how Matthew came upon this knowledge.

It is known that Matthew’s father is not a rich businessman, yet Matthew sought to know more about this Christopher Newfellow. A couple of days ago, Matthew followed Mr. Newfellow (I shan’t call him Christopher any longer) to a tavern, where the insidious man entered a tavern. He was watched at the door by Matthew, and when Matthew heard him boast to a crony that he would end up rich eventually, it became too much for Matthew. He came to talk to Papa as soon as possible.

I have nothing more to say on the matter, except that I wonder if Matthew must love me more than I imagined for him to do something like this.

 

October 23, 1830

Matthew has asked for permission to come calling. I do believe I am more excited to have him calling than when Mr. Newfellow was calling!

 

October 27, 1830

Matthew took me to a quite fascinating play tonight. I believe his intentions are known to myself and my parents, even at this early stage in our courtship. I have no objection as I find myself falling head over heels in love with him.

 

November 3, 1830

Matthew is so wonderful. He looks out for me in every aspect when we are out. Just this morning we went for a stroll in the park, where we came upon Mr. Newfellow. I was in quite a state, as one would expect. Mr. Newfellow seemed as though he wanted to speak to me, yet he said nothing as his mouth worked vigorously. His face turned several shades of red when Matthew bade him goodbye and led me away. I hope I shall never see the dreadful imposter again! It is quite damaging to my poor nerves.

 

December 10, 1830

Today is the most wonderful day of my life! Matthew has asked me to marry him, and Father has given his consent! We have set the wedding for the spring. I have no doubt it will be very lovely. I was quite shocked that Matthew would be able to pay for an engagement ring, yet it appears he worked many long hours for it. It is the most gorgeous ring I own. I am exceedingly proud to wear it.

I no longer care about the money his family does not have. Matthew’s love is enough for me.

 

December 25, 1830

Praise the Lord for sending His Son to this earth for us! It is a wonderful day, and I am quite thankful to the Lord.

The Tismonts came for the midday meal, and Matthew surprised me by giving me a beautiful gift. It is lovely white silk handkerchiefs embroidered with French lace. I am most delighted over this gift and shall save it for my wedding day.

I gave Matthew a gift as well. I had happened to find a finely bound book that I know is one of his favorites. It is Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift.

I am quite in awe over the Lord and His wonderful deeds and gifts to us.

 

January 2, 1831

A new year brings new opportunities. At least that’s what I think. The New Year was spent in delightful company. Matthew Tismont and his family came for the evening. They stayed with us until midnight and on into the wee hours of the morning.

I have just realized that our wedding shall be in 3 months! What a short but long amount of time!

 

January 19, 1831

I am in shock. My beloved Matthew is dead. It pains me greatly to write this. As I write it, my hand is shaking violently, and my tears are blotting the page so that it is almost illegible.

Early this morning, Mr. Tismont, Matthew’s father, came with the terrible tidings. I fainted as soon as the words were out of his mouth. When I revived, he gently told the rest of the awful tale. These are the words he spoke:

“It pains me greatly, dear Rebecca, that I should have to bring this news to you. Last night, Matthew went out to help a friend, only a slight acquaintance, at that, who was in dire need of help. This was a scam, as I now understand. The man was working for Mr. Newfellow.”

At this, I fell back against the cushions, my weeping almost hysterical.

He continued, “As soon as the man led Matthew to the docks, he was confronted by a gang of men. In the lead was Christopher Newfellow, aka Sam Stone, a notorious law breaker in the south. He spoke to Matthew before he shot him. His words were these, ‘Now I have you. You should be sorry you ever exposed me. You took away my one chance for more money and now you will pay.’ With these words, he did the terrible deed.” 

I am forever scarred by the awfulness of his works. I shall never marry, as long as I live.

I cannot write in this journal any longer. It pains me even now to write this.

-----------------------------

A tear slid slowly down Andi’s cheek as she realized what Aunt Rebecca had been through. No wonder she tried to reform Andi. She had no children of her own, and so had wanted to help Andi.

Is that all? Did Aunt Rebecca give up journaling because of Matthew’s death? It surely must have left a huge hole in her heart! One, I suppose, she tried to fill with me.

Andi stopped her reasoning and flipped through the last few pages of the book. A note was written on the second to last page. She read it slowly, savoring its words.

 My niece Andrea Rose Carter,

I love you, and I see in you the same determination of myself. That is why I have treated you so. It is only a token of my love, not of anger.

Your loving,

Aunt Rebecca.

 Andi pondered Aunt Rebecca’s words. Kind though they may be, they made her cry, just the same. She flipped the last page, and there, lying between the yellowed pages was a white silk handkerchief embroidered with French lace.