Gone But Not Forgotten

 by Emma A.

Photo Prompt #5 Jared, Lottie, Lilly

         Fifteen-year-old Jared slammed the door shut and collapsed onto a nearby rocking chair. He wiped the sweat off his head and buried his face in his hands. “Why God? Why? I love her so much!”

A trickle of tears trailed down his cheeks. He bit his lip to keep from sobbing.

The door gently closed behind him and he heard the soft voice of his sister ask, “Can I join you?”

Jared nodded, swiping vigorously at the tears still on his face. Lottie shivered slightly as the brisk wind moved across their front yard. She pulled her shawl closer around her.

A couple minutes passed when finally Lottie whispered, “She can get better. God can do miraculous things, Jared. We’ve seen him do it.”

Jared shook his head and muttered, “Face the truth, Lottie. Our sister’s dying. We can’t do anything. The doctor said so.”

“The doctor can be wrong. He doesn't know everything.”

He didn’t reply.

Lottie stood up and said in a soft voice, “We’re taking Madi to Circle C. The doctor says she'll feel more comfortable there.” She turned around and slipped back inside.

A few minutes more and Jared followed her.

   *The next day*

             Mama enfolded her son in her trembling arms. Jared didn't pull away like he usually did. Instead he wrapped his arms around her and watched his youngest sister’s labored breathing. Lottie and Lilly huddled in Father’s warm arms watching the dark storm clouds gather outside.

            All the Circle C house members watched four-year-old Madi, hearts beating fast. Grandmother began praying softly.

            Jared didn’t listen. His eyes were fixed on Madi. He knew he wasn't supposed to have favorites, but Madi was his little doll. He had always stood up for her and been there when she needed him.

Whenever Madi was frightened at night she would always crawl into Jared’s bed and stay there until she was calmed. It was always Jared who could soothe her problems and wipe away her tears. Neither would ever think of fighting with each other. They loved each other with everything in them. But now she was dying.

Tears trailed down his cheeks as memories flooded him.

Jared heard Mama’s breath catch. He glanced up at Madi and realized after close watch that Madilyn Rose Prescott had gone to be with Jesus.

Throwing away all the strength in him, he wept on his mother’s shoulder. The rain poured from the sky as though heaven understood their grief.

Jared needed to be alone. He slipped away from the group and to the barn. Flinging himself down in an empty stall he sobbed his heart out. Everything in him felt as though it was shredded to pieces.

No longer would Madi’s chubby arms wrap around his neck. No longer would he hear her sweet, pure laugh. Nor would he see those beautiful eyes lifted to him. He would never feel her soft lips kiss him. No. He would never see her again alive.

Jared didn’t know how many hours passed. When he finally shook all the hay off his clothes and crept into the house did he realize it was past midnight.

He trudged up the steps and into the guest bedroom where his other siblings were sprawled out on the two beds leaving no room for their oldest brother.

Jared sighed and pulled down blankets from the linen closet. Arranging a bed for himself he fell into a fitful sleep.

***

The next weeks were filled with tears, heartache and visitors expressing their condolences. Jared hated when the visitors said to him, “Be good to your mother as she grieves this deep loss, young man.”

One night, when all the company had left, Jared and his siblings sat down next to their mother. Andi slipped an arm around Jared and Lilly and whispered in a gentle voice, “What do you miss most about Madi?”

The Prescott children thought hard about this, their eyes filling with tears as they remembered her.

In a trembling voice, Lottie replied, “I miss her sunny smile. It always warmed me whenever I saw her, no matter if I was mad or not.”

Lilly sighed and with love laced in every tone answered her mother’s question. “It was her simple faith in Jesus. She was only four, but I think she knew who He was and what He had done for her. There were times when I think she knew more about Jesus than I.”

Five-year-old James commented, “She shared with me her toys even when I was mean to her.”

Ten-year-old Andrea added to the conversation, “Madi was never ashamed when her friends told her we weren't rich. She would just recite Hebrew’s 13:5, ‘and be content with such things as ye have; for he hath said, I will never leave three, nor forsake thee.’ She knew so many Bible verses.”

Seven-year-old Justin thought for a moment then said, “She loved all of us even when we weren’t good. She never would think of hating us.”

Everyone returned to Jared for his response. Jared felt his eyes filling with tears. He choked out, “She was the best little sister. I just want her back!”

Jared dashed out the door before anyone could stop him. He ran down to the creek and splashed across. He dropped down underneath the willow tree and wept.

And so, the weeks went on. The weeks turned into months and the months into years. Soon Jared was a young man of twenty. Lottie was engaged to William Blake, Cory and Jenny Blake’s son. Lilly was courting Bryant Wilson, a neighbor and friend. Andrea, James, and Justin were still living in their parents’ house, working Memory Creek.

Jared reined in his horse in front of the house and sighed. Today was Madi’s fifth year in heaven. After greeting his solemn parents, he stepped outside and jumped back on his horse. Riding out into the open hills he called to his horse, “Whoa.”

Sliding off his horse he tied Thunderbolt to a tree and began the short walk to his special spot. Jared knew he had to do something with his relationship with God. Ever since Madi’s death he had grown bitter and resentful towards God, blaming him for his sister’s rise to heaven.

Jared knelt next to a large oak tree and prayed to God. “I’ve been so turned against You Lord. ‘Why’ has always been in my head. You took my sister to heaven. I loved her so much, God. But now, on her death anniversary, I want to give my stubborn heart to You. Turn me towards Your love and mercy and create in me a new heart. Give me eyes to see that You’re doing this for my good.

“Jesus, life is difficult. But You can heal my broken heart and change it around. Here I am Lord. I’m all Yours.”

Jared felt a subtle change grow inside his chest. Soon it was in full bloom. Peace washed over Jared in waves. He wept this time not of grief but of relief.

He went back to the house, a changed man. He would never see his sister on earth but he would see her again in heaven, seated among the angels.

The next year he married Alyssa Brown. They had three girls, Margaret, Miriam and Madi. He always remembered his youngest sister and awaited the day when he would again see her.

“You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”  Isaiah 26 : 3