Understand that these are the raw scenes. In fact, Macy is “Tilly.” I didn’t even bother to change it to Macy, so you can see that I’m giving you the original as best I can. There are 3 scenes.
Note: Somebody has asked for an original scene where Andi is accidentally thrust into the middle of a poker game in the saloon and wins that hand. Then Mitch catches her there. I can't find it but I can try to reconstruct it sometime when I have extra time on my hands. It was a fun scene but I cut it because these books are published by a Christian publisher and I didn't think they would like me to include that scene in a kids'/YA book.
Scene 1
This scene compares to the middle of Chapter 16, when Jase interrupts Tilly and Andi and sends Tilly (Macy) out to Rock Canyon (Striker’s Canyon in this version). There is mention of their sister Lucy too (who was cut from the final version).
“Now, why’d’ya go and do that fer?” Tilly complained, giving the man a hard punch to his arm with her fist. She watched her new friend scurry down the boardwalk and sighed unhappily.
“What does it matter?” Jase said. “Who is she?”
“Oh,” Tilly replied caustiously. “Jus’ some girl from school Can’t rightly recollect her name. Jus passin’ the time with her.” It wouldn’t be smart to admit to any of her brothers that she might have a friend.
“Someone wants t’ pass the time with you?” He laughed, then pulled his sister along the boardwalk. “Enough talk. Listen, Till. Ty wants you out at the place the rest o’ the day and part o’ the evenin’—until Lucy gets off. Me an’ Rudy’s got to make a couple o’ sales tomorrow up Madera way, and he wants you t’ keep an eye on things while he’s in town the next few days. Got it?”
“No. I ain’t got it,” Tilly replied hotly, pulling free of her brother’s tight grasp. She shivered in spite of the hot sun. She knew her brothers were up to something. Deep down she knew it was something dangerous—something big. She wanted nothing to do with it this time. The last scheme—six months ago—had almost gotten her killed! Robbing stagecoaches at night had not been her idea of a good way to spend one’s life. She had been stuck holding the horses, and she had been scared to death the whole time.
“You’re doin’ what yer told, Tilly,” Jase said. “You know the place I mean?”
“Yeah. I know it,” Tilly sighed. “Striker’s Canyon.” She turned to her brother. “Jus’ whatcha doin’ out at that canyon, anyway? I’m afraid t’guess after some o’them other schemes you’ve been in.” She set her jaw and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I don’ want nuthin’ t’do with whatever’s happenin’ out there. Count me out.”
“We can’t do that.” Jase laughed. He grabbed his sister roughly by the arm and led her towards the livery. “Yer a part o’ the family, m’girl, and you’ve got to do yer share. Watchin’ the livestock is your share fer the next few days while we check out the new market.”
Tilly paled at her brother’s words. “You ain’t rustlin’, are ya, Jase? Tell me ya ain’t!”
“You’ll find out soon enough, Tilly.” He grinned. “Makin’ a nice little pile o’ money lately. Buyers don’ ask too many questions, long as it’s cheap. But we gotta be careful. That’s why one of use is always out at the canyon. And it’s your turn now.” His features grew hard. “Enough o’ yer talk, girl. Get out there and watch that beef.”
“How am I supposed to get there? Striker’s Canyon’s up in the foothills–a fair piece. Can’t walk, ya know.”
“I’ll rent ya a horse at the livery. Now, get goin’. And I don’ want t’ hear nuthin’ more from you. Understand?”
“Yeah, Jase,” Tilly sighed. “I understand.” She shuffled slowly towards the livery to get a horse, all the while thinking hard. I wonder if Andi’ll take those shoes o’ hers back home when she finds I ain’t comin’ t’ school the next few days. She scuffed the dirt, wishing with all her might she could live other than like a rattlesnake occasionally. A bath would be nice, she decided. Can’t remember the last time I had one.
Scene 2
Andi invites Tilly (Macy) out to the ranch. This is where Tilly figures out who Andi is. In the original scene (Chapter 17, Thick as Thieves), I had to plant hints, like Macy dropping the brush, etc. to show she knew who Andi is. Here, in her own POV, I can write what I like. Have fun! Note: Sunny is called Sundown in this version, and Rock Canyon is Striker’s Canyon.
Tilly felt her eyes grow wide as the two girls galloped into the yard of Andi’s ranch. For miles, she had noticed the fields of alfalfa and grain, the orchards and vast range land. She began to suspect her friend’s ranch was more than just your typical ranch. Riding into the yard confirmed it. Tilly’s mouth dropped open. Never in her life had she seen such a house as the one that loomed up before her. The Spanish-style ranch house, with its dazzling white stucco walls and red-tiled roof shone like a rare jewel amidst an oasis of gardens and huge valley oaks. Balconies and covered porches beckoned a weary traveler to rest.
Her mouth was still hanging open when Andi pulled Taffy to a stop in front of a huge, red barn. Numerous ranch hands roamed the yard, leading horses or carrying equipment. They waved and gave Andi a friendly “hi.”
“Come on, Tilly,” Andi said, sliding from Taffy’s back. “I’ve got to put Taffy away, then we can find you a dress.”
Tilly followed Andi cautiously into the barn. She felt totally out of place and wished she hadn’t agree to come out to her friend’s ranch. She had no idea Andi was so rich. Why, there must be thousands of dollars just in the buildings! She gaped at the beautiful, well-groomed horses in their stalls, and watched as Andi led Taffy into one of them.
“Here, Tilly,” Andi called, tossing her a brush. “You want to help me?”
Tilly shrugged. “I guess.” She caught the brush and began grooming the golden palomino. When her brush ran over the brand-mark on Taffy’s rump, Tilly paused. She stared, puzzled. It looked so familiar. Where had she seen this mark? She shook her head and continued brushing.
Suddenly, she caught her breath and turned back to the brand. Of course! She had seen this very mark not long ago on some of the beef out in Striker’s Canyon. Tilly felt sick and faint when she realized her new friend’s cattle were being rustled by her brothers. She let the brush fall from her hand. She sat down in the hay, afraid when she remembered she was just as involved as the rest of her family.
“What’s the matter, Tilly?” Andi’s head popped out from around her horse’s head, and she stopped brushing.
“I’m just feelin’ tired, I guess.”
“Oh, gee, Tilly. I’m sorry. I forgot your brother made you work so much.” She threw down her own brush. “I can finish this any time. You come along with me.”
Tilly forced herself up and tried to smile. She nodded toward Taffy’s flank. “What brand mark is that? Yours?”
“Yeah. It’s a “C” for Carter. That’s our name.” She turned and headed out of the barn.
Tilly followed, stricken. Carter! she gasped on the inside. Only the richest family in this part of the valley! Not a day went by when Tilly didn’t hear her brothers curse the Carters as pompous, overbearing land barons who would never miss a few lousy head of cattle. They’re ripe for the pickin’, Ty had said only a couple days ago, We’re leadin’ them on a merry chase! Them and all those other fat ranchers in this valley! It’s only right a little of their overflow should flow to us! He had laughed raucously, and they’d all started on a fresh bottle of whiskey.
Tilly closed her eyes in shame. This is getting worse by the minute. Then she straightened her shoulders and followed Andi up to the house. Determined not to let her uneasiness show, Tilly caught up with Andi as she opened the door, and they entered the house together. Tilly took two steps, then stopped short. “Golly, Andi!” She twirled, trying to take in everything at once. “You live here?”
“Uh-huh,” Andi replied, shutting the door and rejoining her friend. She let out a yell. “Mother! I’m home!” There was no answer. Andi started up the stairs that led to the second floor. “Come on, Tilly. I’ve got a surprise for you.”
The surprise was beyond anything Tilly could imagine. It was a real bath—full of bubbles—in a real bathtub. Tilly lay in the warm water, soaking up the pleasure of being fully clean for perhaps the first time since last summer. Come to think of it, last summer don’t count as a real bath, she decided. A dunk in Hanson Creek ain’t near the same as a bathtub full of bubbles. “Ya know, Andi…” Tilly sighed. “I could get used to this. I really could.”
Andi laughed. “Yeah. Bubble baths are a lot of fun.” She held up a simple but pretty blue calico dress. “What about this? Do you like it?”
“Like it?” Tilly asked, astonished. “It’s beautiful. You’re not serious? I couldn’t borrow a dress like that. It might get ripped or somethin’.”
“You can have it,” Andi replied. “Or you can choose another from these. They’re all too small for me. Mother reminded me only last week to go through my things and sort out all the old ones from last summer. We’re going to give them to the orphanage, so you might as well take one or two.”
With that, Tilly found her towel and stepped out of the bathtub. She would most certainly choose a dress—before Andi changed her mind! In the end, Tilly pulled on a blue and white dress and tied it in the back. She took the stockings Andi offered, then pulled on her shoes. She was afraid to turn around and look in the mirror.
“Don’t turn around yet!” Andi said brightly. “We have to do your hair first!” She picked up a brush and ran it quickly through Tilly’s pale, shoulder-length tangles. “Your hair’s so nice and fine, it’s easy to comb out. It’ll take no time at all to dry.” She sighed. “Sometimes I wish my hair wasn’t so thick. It’s a sore trial to me. It never behaves and takes so long to fix.”
Tilly shook her head. “You got real purty hair, Andi. I’ve always had a mind to have such hair. Black curls with bright red ribbons ‘stead o’ this flighty mess.” She broke off with a sigh and blew her fine bangs out of her eyes. “Reminds me of a spider’s web sometimes, ‘specially when I find critters in it.” She laughed at the look on Andi’s face. “I know jus’ what yer thinkin’, Andi. Yep, I’ve had my share of cooties and such. That’s why it’s short these days. Easier fer the kerosene t’do the job.”
“I—I don’t think there’re any today.”
“Nope. Woulda been scratchin’ like crazy if there was.” Tilly brushed the hair from her face. “Anythin’ we can do ‘bout these pestering bangs?”
“I could cut them,” Andi offered. A few minutes later Tilly turned around and faced the mirror. Her pale hair, no longer hanging in dirty, greasy hanks, floated around her shoulders. Some of the white-blond strands were tied back with a large, blue bow. Her cheeks glowed with happiness. She looked like a different girl.
“Nobody’s going to recognize you in school tomorrow, Tilly,” Andi remarked “You look very nice.”
“Do I really look nice?”
“Can’t you see for yourself?” Andi laughed. “But you’ve got to act nice, Tilly. That’s more important than what you look like.” She shook her head in disbelief. “It’s awfully hard to imagine that just a couple weeks ago you were trying to run the school and show how tough you were. I really think that deep down inside you just wanted to be like the rest of us.”
Tilly looked at the floor. This new feeling of liking someone and having someone like her back was almost more than she could stand. It made her feel warm all over. “I can see that now, Andi—thanks to you.” She looked up, and her eyes were moist. “Ain’t nobody ever been as nice to me as you. Ever! Ain’t nobody tried as hard as you, either, to be my friend—’specially when I’ve been so awful mean t’ya. Why?”
Andi looked uncomfortable. “Well, I didn’t want to be your friend at first, but once I got past being selfish, I decided it wouldn’t hurt to try. It’s like I told you in town the other day. After seeing your mean ol’ brother, I figured you needed at least one friend.” Then she grinned. “Besides, I want to get through the end of the school year in one piece. With you sitting next to me, I knew if we didn’t make some sort of truce, I’d end up losing my temper and punching you.”
Tilly laughed. “I’m sort of glad you didn’t.”
“Me, too,” Andi agreed. “Actually, I think Mr. Foster likes you—a little bit, anyway. He’s gone awfully easy on you, compared to how he is with most of us. I got expelled last fall for sitting on Sylvia Arlington, and I expect he’d expel me again just as quickly if I did the same to you.” She shook her head. “He’s got it in his head that a Carter, at least, needs to act like a lady without fail.”
“You’re a lady, Andi,” Tilly said adamantly, “No matter what that ol’ Mr. Foster says. Now c’mon. Can we go see them colts now?”
Scene 3
This scene takes place between Chapters 20 and 21, a truly “lost scene,” which explains why Tilly goes to Andi’s ranch to tell her where Shasta and Sunny (Sundown) are.
Tilly picked up a rock and closed one eye, aiming the best she could at the can sitting atop the hitching post in front of what passed for a cabin in Striker’s Canyon. Slowly, she pulled back her arm and gave a mighty toss. The rock connected with the can and it tumbled to the ground with a thud. It was not as satisfying to knock a can off a fence with a rock as it would have been to shoot it off, but she knew that careless shots fired in this canyon could have instant and permanent results. Besides, it spooked the cattle.
Sighing, she walked over to the can, picked it up, and set it on the post once again. Returning to her spot, she reached down and found another stone. How I wish I was anyplace else, she sighed, bored. Her brother Rudy lay inside the shack, dead drunk and asleep. For the second day in a row, she had been forced to see to the watering and feeding of the sizable herd of stolen cattle scattered around the makeshift corrals further into the canyon. It was no easy task, and she felt sick at heart whenever she saw a Carter brand among the others.
She also found herself recognizing other brands—the Rocking R, the Bent Pine, and others whose children had been school mates with her the last few weeks of school. A few weeks ago—maybe even a month ago, Tilly wouldn’t have given a hoot about these cows or the people who owned them. If they can’t watch out for ‘em, they don’t deserve to keep ‘em, had been her family’s motto for a number of years. But she knew she had changed some. She not only felt sorry for her friends’ families, but she was also deathly afraid of being caught.
“I wonder if they hang young girls,” she mumbled miserably, dropping the rock. She sat down with a sigh onto the tiny, sagging porch.
“Tilly!” A loud voice, followed by a groan, broke through her musings, and she jumped up. Her brother Rudy stumbled to the doorway, holding his head. He leaned against a post and mumbled, “I need a drink.”
“Ain’t no more, Rudy,” Tilly informed her brother wearily. “You drunk it all.”
He swore and kicked the post before heading back into the shack, only to collapse when he got to the lumpy mattress which passed for a bed in the corner of the tiny, two-room shack. “Get in here and fix some grub, girl,” he ordered harshly. “My stummick’s screamin’ fer something solid. And some coffee, too. And be quick about it.”
Tilly pulled herself up from the porch to do her brother’s bidding. It would do no good to refuse, for he’d beat her good and proper if she did. If she ran off…well, one of her brothers or her sister would fetch her back eventually and she’d get a full measure of Ty’s wrath! “I ain’t nuthin’ more’n’ a slave,” she decided mournfully, “Jus’ like them luckless black folks down south. Only I’m worse off. Ain’t nobody gonna fight a war t’ free me!”
Tilly stepped through the doorway, then turned suddenly and looked up. Two riders were coming through the narrow gap of the canyon. It was Ty and Jase, and it looked like they had a string of young horses with them—maybe a dozen. They were grinning and yelling, making enough noise to bring the canyon walls down on them, but they didn’t seem to care.
Rudy roused himself enough and staggered out onto the porch, shoving his sister aside for a better view. “Where ya been, Ty?” he shouted, pulling himself up to some semblance of sobriety.
“Collecting a fine passel o’ horses for sale, brother,” came the reply. The two brothers galloped up, the horses in tow. “Our buyer over Nevada-way was real taken with the last group of horses. He’ll go wild over this bunch. Never seen better horse-flesh in all my days! Take a look at ‘em!”
Each brother had a string of six outstanding ponies. Although they were nervous and dusty, the animals showed exceptional breeding. Rudy whistled and slapped the flank of a young buckskin. “I gotta hand it t’you, Ty. You shore know how t’pick ‘em. These are worth a lot of money.”
“Yep. Once they’re sold and this bunch o’ cattle outta the way…” Ty indicated the lowing cows beyond sight in back, “We’re packin’ up and headin’ out. Things are gittin’ too hot for us around these parts, brothers. Them ranchers are mighty serious ‘bout catchin’ us.” He frowned. “Tilly-girl, what in tarnation you starin’ at?”
Tilly jerked her head around to face her brother. “Nuthin’, Ty. Jus’ admirin’ the horse-flesh.” She tried to swallow her shock at seeing these particular colts.
“Well, you kin admire ‘em all ya want while you get ‘em into the corral.” He pointed a meaty finger in the direction of a tiny, fenced-in area hugging the canyon wall. It was a natural holding pen, with two of the sides formed from the cliffs. Two other sides were fenced crudely with rough pine rails. A make-shift gate completed the dismal scene. “Get ‘em some water and hay, too, while you’re at it,” Ty added while Tilly took the string of horses from her brother’s hand.
“Don’t be all day about it, girl,” Jase called out. “ ‘Cause I’ve got a string o’ ponies, too.” He dismounted and tied the lead horse to the hitching post, letting out a long breath. “I’m beat. Been ridin’ most o’ the night. Hope there’s somethin’ t’eat.”
“I can’t do everything!” Tilly shouted over her shoulder as she led the horses toward the corral. “Why don’t Lucy show up once in a while?”
“Mind yer mouth, Tilly,” Ty warned. He yanked off his hat and tossed it to the ground. “I’m gonna get me some shut-eye.” With that, he turned abruptly and left his young sister with the difficult task of settling in a dozen skittish young horses.
Tilly, once out of sight of her brothers, let out a breath of astonishment and dismay. She hoped the colts wouldn’t be ruined by the adventure in which they were being forced to take part. She tried her best to console the frightened animals, crying softly at the thought of these exceptional animals suffering the abuse and shock of being stolen and resold far away. She wondered if her friend was aware her colts were missing.
“Sundown,” she whispered, patting the young, cream-colored colt on the nose, “I’m jus’ so sorry ‘bout this.” Sundown nuzzled Tilly’s head and whinnied softly, recognizing her. Shasta trotted up to Tilly and stamped an impatient foot. She rubbed her hand over the buckskin’s back and stroked his nose. “Don’t you worry none,” she whispered fiercely, “You won’t be goin’ nowhere ‘cept home, if it’s the last thing I ever do!”
With her sudden decision not to allow her brothers to sell these colts, she opened the gate and herded the young horses into the corral. Then she hurried back and brought the other six horses to their temporary home. Immediately, the dozen horses clumped together nervously near the canyon wall and stamped their hooves in agitation.
Their whinnying and shuffling did nothing to make Tilly feel better. She brought them hay and water, and entered the corral to speak gently with them. The lead colt, a beautiful pinto yearling, laid back his ears and reared up in warning. Tilly made a hasty retreat. She took a long look at the shack where her brothers were no doubt waiting for her to come in and fix something to eat. She drew a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and determined she would find out what sort of plans had been made for these horses.
******
“Ty?” Tilly asked casually when her brother was filled up with coffee and a plateful of not-too-bad hotcakes. She hoped to catch him in a good mood, and he looked pretty relaxed right now. And why shouldn’t he? He’d just come away from a successful raid, netting his brothers and himself some animals worth a great deal of money—more than most the cattle would bring. He’d had a little nap and now sat around the crude table, smoking calmly and chatting with his brothers. Jase and Rudy were sopping up the rest of their pancakes in the molasses and recounting their victories. Tilly figured it was now or never. “How much you hopin’ t’get fer them colts out there?”
Ty looked at his sister in surprise. “Plenty.” He looked the girl up and down. “Why? Don’t look t’me like you need nuthin’.” He waved a casual hand toward her. “Appears t’me you got yerself some right fancy trappins’ already.”
“Jus’ askin’.” Tilly pouted. “When ya gonna sell ‘em?”
“Soon,” he replied. “What’s it t’you?”
“Cuz I’m the one stuck watchin’ ‘em, when I’d much rather be ridin’ or fishin’ or—”
“Shut up. I don’ want t’hear about what you’d rather be doin’. Thanks t’ Lucy, you got all the time off you needed when you was at school the last few weeks. It wasn’t my idea t’put ya there. That was Lucy’s doin’.” He smiled. “An’ now school’s out, so yer workin’ fer me.” He pushed back his chair and stood up. “It’s your job to watch them colts and make sure they don’t bring no harm on themselves. They’re mighty nervous, so I’m givin’ ‘em a day t’ wind down. Me and Jase’ll take half of ‘em outta the canyon maybe tomorrow afternoon, and head for that buyer we found.”
“That soon?” Tilly asked.
“It’s stupid to keep ‘em around fer somebody t’stumble across, now ain’t it? We’ve been lucky so far, but I’m sure our luck can’t hold forever.” He motioned to Jase. “Come on. Let’s head back to town.”
“Now wait a minute, Ty!” Rudy interjected. “Don’t ya suppose it’s my turn to go to town? Let Jase sit out here and guard the beef.”
“No. Jase is comin’ with me.” He suddenly grinned. “But I tell ya what, Rudy…” He pulled a small bottle from his hip pocket. “You can keep my bottle as company.”
“Well, if that’s the way it is…” Rudy beamed and caught the offered whiskey. “Thanks.”
“Yeah,” Tilly mumbled, “Thanks a lot. What about me? What do I get for hangin’ ‘round here and makin’ sure Rudy don’t do nuthin’ foolish when he’s in the bottle?”
Ty mounted his horse and smiled at his sister. It was not a nice smile. “I’ll tell you what you’ll get if you don’t stay here and help Rudy with this livestock.” Tilly grimaced. “We’ll be back sometime tonight—’round midnight. You make sure them animals are cared for in the meantime.”
Tilly nodded dismally and watched her brothers ride out of sight. She noted with disgust that Rudy lost no time opening the bottle of whiskey. He’d boss her around all day now. Only when he passed out this afternoon would she be free to go and pursue her own interests. She wandered a little way from the shack and sat down to think.
A faint whinnying sound brought Tilly out of her daydreaming. She glanced up toward the noise. It was Sundown, and he was calling for her! She jumped up immediately and hurried over to the colt. His beautiful coat was covered with dust, and he shook his head nervously.
Tilly patted and talked to him, wishing this fine little beast could be hers. She knew it could never be, so the next best thing was to make sure he was returned. “You want t’go home, don’t ya?” she asked. “You’re lost and scared and lonely for Andi, ain’t ya?” She sighed. “I jus’ bet you’ve never been any further than that pasture o’yours before. This mus’ be a terrible experience fer ya—fer all o’ya,” she amended and looked up at the others. “Well, I can’t take ya back m’self—however much I’d like to. If y’all and me took off and Rudy happened t’see, well…” She shook her head, “It’d be all over fer me, I’m afraid. But don’t ya worry none. I’ve got me an idea.” She patted the colt on the nose and turned back to the shack. Now, all she had to do was wait for her brother to pass out. Then she’d go find Andi.
Great story I always wanted to read about your original ideas
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