A Test of Courage

 by Maddy E. 

“Look at how pretty the sunset is!”

I knew, of course, I should offer a reply to Chad’s comment.  Mother raised me to practice manners, even if I was miles and miles away from civilization.  

However, my mouth was formed in a gape and my eyes, rather than gazing at the stunning picture of blues and pinks etched across the sky, were glued to the scene unfolding to my left.  I half-heartedly noticed Chad glancing at me before focusing his attention on the scenery before her.  Even the constant clump, clomp of Taffy’s hooves as she wove me though the countryside didn’t succeed in rousing me from my terror-stricken state.

Chad had mentioned at breakfast his plans of riding up into the mountains to examine some potential grazing land.  Though I sometimes tend to steer clear of Chad’s work path, school had been canceled on account of Mr. Foster falling ill with a cold.  I jumped at the excuse for a long ride, and finally, Chad obliged reluctantly.  However, now wounding our way through the ghost town of Millerton, Chad appeared grateful for the company, though I currently was not proving to be social.  

As we rode on, try as I might, I couldn’t peel my attention from what I saw.  Through the trees, the lowering sun cast a ray of sunlight upon the mysterious outline of a human.

Amongst the crumbling buildings, I could distinctly make out the shape of a tall, awkward man.  Scraggly hair was disguised by a hat sitting atop his head, but what sent heart wrenching shivers through my back was the rifle propped against the tree trunk near him, within perfect reach if he only extended his right arm.

Suddenly, the man’s attention, which had previously been focused behind him, abruptly turned and 1 pair of icy blue eyes were now attentive on me.  I gaped in horror.  I had been caught.

A scowl formed itself across the man’s face, followed by a horrific smirk.  I wiggled atop Taffy and veered to the left, attempting to get as far away from this man as possible.

I knew ever since I spotted that rifle I should tell Chad.  However, shock and fear seemed to envelope me, causing me unable to speak.  Then, the man shifted his pose, and now, he was in a much better position to run.  Only now was I able to form the words mandatory in order to catch this man or at the very least query him.

Afraid the man may make a move at any moment, I spoke softly, keeping my keen observation on the mysterious figure.  “Chad, there’s a man to my left, but be careful, he’s preparing to make a run for it.”  By the time I finished, my voice was quivering dramatically.  Something about this man gave me an unsettling feeling, a feeling of great distress.  I whimpered.

Chad came to a halt in his riding and twisted around in his seat, clutching the saddle.  He cocked an eyebrow.  “What do you mean?”  He asked casually.  

I gulped and shook my head slightly.

Chad caught my uneasiness and glanced around with alert eyes.  However, disguised between the trees and brush, the man was nearly invisible.  Without precise eyes and full focus, it would be hard to detect him.

Chad’s gaze was empty and confused when the man drew his rifle up, aimed at Chad’s torso, and cocked it.  My heart thumped.

Somehow, everything seemed to drag on.  Yet it all happened so fast.  

“Chad!  He’s going to shoot!”  I didn’t think.  Digging my heels into Taffy’s flank, I galloped for Chad and swung out in front of him.  

The sound of a gunshot filled my ears, and pain exploded in my stomach.  Then I was falling, falling, and everything went black.  

 

“Andi!”

A searing agony in my gut tore me from a distressed sleep.  Everything ached, from the ragged, mud crusted hairs on my head to the tips of my-  I cocked my head.  Something wasn’t right.  I pondered for a moment, but remained clueless.  Brushing the concern aside, I sent up a quick prayer.  Dear God, please help me.  Take the pain away.

I felt gentle hands nudging me further awake.  I cracked an eye open and squinted.  A full moon beamed down from above. 

As I continued to regain consciousness, I began to pinpoint the direct wounds.    My stomach heaved, while even the gentlest movement on my back sent waves of suffering through my body.  A bullet and a fall.  That was all my foggy brain could piece together.  

“Andi?”

The voice appeared again, and only because I heard a tone flooded with sorrow did I determine to not drift back into unconsciousness, at least not yet.

I popped my eyes open.  Two big eyes bore into me, while his lips were contorted into a fearful expression.

“Chad?”

Chad breathed a sigh, but his relief was soon replaced with no nonsense.  “I’m glad you woke up, Andi.  It means you still have a chance of---” Chad’s voice trailed off and he swallowed.  Though he hadn’t spoken the words aloud, I knew what was running through his mind.  It means you still have a chance of living.

“You’ve really gotta start thinking before you speak, big brother.”  I managed with a wonky grin.  Chad returned a small smile.

“I’m pushing Sky as fast as he’ll go.  Taffy already hightailed it home.  Sorry, it probably hurts to be galloping.”

  I nodded absently.  The jostling didn’t help, but what choice did I have? 

“You’ll be home soon, sis,” Chad was saying.  “And Mitch will ride for the doctor, and Mother will take care of you, and I’ll round up some ranch hands to go after that man.”

“Yes, that’ll be nice,” I murmured, feeling my eyes roll back into my head.

Chad glanced down again.  “Go on to sleep now, Andi.  Just please, don’t slip away from us.”

The last thing I saw was tears in Chad’s eyes before a wave of dizziness evoked me, and then I was out again.

 

I roughly recall arriving home some time later and warm arms lifting me gently from Chad’s lap and planting me in the wagon.  “We’re going to go ahead and take you in to Dr. Weaver’s infirmary,” Mother whispered softly in my ear.

I nodded my approval and didn’t protest as people surrounded me and offered up a brisk yet meaningful prayer.  “Dear God, please protect Miss Andi.  You know we all care dearly for her, as if she were family.  We know You have the ability to heal her.”

Then, my surroundings went from calm to a flurry of activity.  The sounds of rustling and neighing signaled the cowhand’s departure to chase after the culprit.  Mother adjusted beside me, as did Melinda.  Then someone climbed into the big bed and sat down as near to me as possible.

“Chad,” I murmured, breathing in the familiar scent of horses and hay that wafted up from Chad’s vest.

The wagon took off, jostling and squeaking.  Hands and arms tangled around me, from Mother’s careful hands firmly pressed against my stomach, to Chad’s arms holding me as steady as possible during the bumpy ride, and Melinda’s cool fingers lying gently against my cheek.  I glanced behind me just enough to notice Justin and Mitch sitting atop the bench seat.  Then I allowed my eyes to shut, lolling me into a painful sleep.

 

“She’s hurt awful bad,” I overheard some time later.  Light seeped through my eyelids, informing me it was sometime past sunrise.  With my eyes still closed, I felt around with my hands, acknowledging the strange equipment and unique bed.  Definitely not my bed, I decided.

“How bad, Doc?” Justin questioned.

The room grew silent.  Finally, Dr. Weaver spoke, but his voice was heavy with grief.

“I’m sorry, folks.  It hurts me deeply to have to break this news to you, but I love you all too much to reveal anything but the full and honest truth.”  Sigh.  “Andrea was shot in the stomach, as you already know.  The bullet managed to only skim bones and major organs.  God certainly was taking care of her.”  I thought I heard a small smile in the doctor’s voice, but it soon vanished.

“The blow knocked her off the horse,” Dr. Weaver was saying.  “No arms or legs are broken, but she did suffer from a minor concussion, and…” The doctor hesitated.

“Tell us, Doc,”  Chad demanded fiercely, but I heard the sorrow nestled beneath his impatience.

“Andrea’s spinal cord was injured from the fall.  She’s paralyzed from the waist down.”

Trembling, I shot upright, eyes wide.  A bold surge of pain rippled through my stomach, followed by a sharp pang that nearly made me cry out in agony.  I bit my lip and fell back down, defeated.

Chad reacted at the same time.  Through the shadows cast by the sun, I saw him leap to his feet, furry in his eyes.  “No!”

Though the throbbing in my stomach certainly limited my ability to sit up, I threw the covers aside anyway and waited to hear more.  Tears threatened to spill over, but I blinked furiously, determined not to cry.  I must remain strong.  Besides, only a thin sheet separated the patients’ room from the waiting area.  Crying would certainly make noise, and noise would bring spectators.  Even if they were family, I couldn’t bear the thought of being seen in my current shape, both physically and mentally.

“She’ll get better, though, won’t she, Doc?” Justin was saying, breaking into my thoughts.

“Right?”  Mitch chimed in, but no one responded.  Tension fell over the room so thick it could be cut with a knife.  

I shuddered.  “Dear God, please let me be all right,” I breathed.  “I have to walk again.  Please.”  The last word came out as a plea.  A very desperate plea.

“This is all my fault,” Chad raged, shattering the ice.  “I should have been more careful, more watchful.  I can’t believe she’s paralyzed, likely forever.  Each day from here on out will be a struggle.  You admit it yourself, Dr. Weaver.  She’s probably permanently lame.”

Chad’s statement was met by silence, then interrupted again when Chad picked up where he left off.  “Riding Taffy, helping out on the ranch, even going to school, it will all be a problem, if she can even manage certain things at all.”  A big fist came down.

Let’s hope that table is still in one shape, I quietly noted.  Why didn’t Mother put an end to this nonsense?  Chad was off on one of his ravings, and I was shocked that my family would just stand by and allow him to continue, even if he was well into his adult years.  Because what he’s saying is true.  

The thought crept into my mind before I could brush it away.

“You all know how much Andi will suffer.  She’ll be miserable,” Chad’s voice had dropped to a whisper.

My heart leaped to my throat.  I felt crushed.  He’s tearing himself up because of me.  

“Hey, big brother, don’t pressure yourself so much about this, ya hear?” Mitch cut in.

“I agree,” Mother added.  “What’s done is done, and it is not at all your fault, son.   The rest is in God’s hands.”

“Indeed it it is,” Dr. Weaver echoed.

I heard rustling, then Dr. Weaver spoke again.  “Really, there’s still a small chance Andrea could walk again.  We just don’t know.  Why don’t I go check on her now?”

“I’ll come, too,” Mother offered.  

“Me too,” Melinda and Mitch put in.

“Well, little brother, should we join them?”

“Why not?”  Chad gave in.

Too late, I realized they were coming to see me.  And I was propped up, eyes bright, and covers aside.

Cringing, I scrambled to put the blankets in place, but it was too late now.  They were approaching fast.  Still slightly elevated, I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping I wouldn’t be caught eavesdropping.

I heard the curtain being drawn aside, then footsteps.  “Elizabeth?  Is this how she was when we left her?”

“No, I don’t believe it is.”

“Andi!”  Melinda suddenly called out.  “Open your eyes right this instant!”  

I opened one eye, then the other.  Big sis was grinning.

Despite the intensity of the situation, I released a little giggle.  “Yes?”

Justin rubbed his forehead, chuckled, and sank into the nearest chair. 

Chad released a half laugh, half moan.  “How much did you hear?”

“All of it?” I squeaked.  

“Oh brother,” was all Chad said as he buried his face in his hands.  Then, with a glance at me, he added, “why do you have to be as sneaky as me?”

 

I was permitted to return home the next day, but only after ten days of bed rest was I allowed, and able for that matter, to go outdoors.  Even then, I had been cautioned to report anything suspicious, for the culprit seemed to have disappeared without a trace.  

Though I was able to enjoy the outdoors, as Dr. Weaver had said, my spinal cord was injured, possibly forever.  

So I made due with what I had.  Once, when Justin was blind for a time, he still remained strong.  I used that as my life line, refusing to spoil myself and spend days drowning in self pity.    

The infirmary had an extra wheelchair on hand, “Use it as long as you need,” were Dr. Weaver’s exact words as he presented it to me.

“I’ve gotten pretty good at maneuvering this thing,” I commented quietly as I wove myself through the yard.  The sun rose high in the sky, indicating a simmering afternoon.

I slumped my shoulders, not sure what to do with this afternoon.  All members of my family were keeping busy on this Saturday, as should I have been, but-

“Stop!” I whispered fiercely.  I couldn’t lose hope, and in order to do so, I must not dwell on the hardships.  Rather, I should focus on the good aspects.

“Like not having chores,” I supplied with a smirk.

I continued my trek across the yard, stopping short when I reached the barn.  An idea popped into my mind.  After only a moment’s thought, I decided my plan would be worth trying.

 

“Hey Sid!  Could you help me with something?”  I rounded the corner and came to the small corral out back, where a dozen or more colts were being kept.

Sid McCoy glanced up, as did a dozen other cowhands.  “Yes, Miss Andi?”

I bit my lip.  “Could you help me up onto Taffy?  I wanna go on a ride.”  

Sid paused from his work, giving me his whole attention.  He cocked an eyebrow.  “Uh, no offense, Miss Andi, but…” Sid’s voice trailed off as he stole a glance at my motionless legs.  The cowhands froze at my unexpected request.

“I know, I know,” I began, flustered at my handicap, “but I’ve ridden practically all my life, and if I were up on Taffy, I know she’d behave, and- oh just please help me.  I’ve already got her all saddled and everything.”

Sid’s gaze bored into my mind.  “And why don’t you ask one of your brothers to help you up?”

I ducked my head, suddenly avoiding eye contact.  Truth be told, I wasn’t sure whether or not my brothers would be willing to go along with the idea.

Chuckles echoed through the yard.  “I really think you oughta hold off for a while yet.”

I let out an exasperated breath, planting my hands on my hips.  “Please?”

Sid’s expression grew solemn.  I could imagine by his expression the argument playing out in his mind.  

C’mon, Sid, I silently pleaded.

Sid glanced at his fellow ranch hands, who shrugged in return.  

Finally, with a heavy sigh, Sid began to lumber toward me.  “I’m probably going to regret this, you know.”  

I squealed my delight and followed Sid to the barn, assuring him all the way.  “You won’t be sorry, trust me.  I’ll prove it.  Just you wait and see.”

Sid just grunted and kept walking.  

I gave a satisfied shrug.  A pinch of uncertainty sliced through my head, but I pushed it aside.  I haven’t been on a horse in quite some time now, and I’m itching to be back in the saddle.  Taffy will behave.  What’s there to worry about?

Sid tromped through the barn, all the way to the back.  Taking a right, he turned into Taffy’s stall, where the palomino stood, tacked up and behaving well.

I muffled a giggle when Sid’s mouth dropped open into a gape.  “I-I didn’t actually think Taffy would be saddled,” he stammered.

I smiled.  “See?  I’m perfectly capable.”

Sid nodded slightly before fixing his gaze on me.  His voice dropped to a whisper.  “Only out of sympathy and because I know you’re good with horses am I allowing this.  Let’s just hope I’m not fired.”

I brushed Sid’s sentimental words away with wave of my hand.  “They won’t fire you,” I said confidently.

Sid shrugged and then reached down, scooping me up into his arms.  “Up you go.”

I grinned as Sid plopped me atop Taffy.  “Thanks, Sid.”

Sid chuckled.  “Don’t thank me yet.  I want to make sure you can handle this.”

To prove myself, I pushed my torso forward.  “Let’s go, Taffy,” I prodded gently.

The mare walked carefully out of the stall and then straight for the barn doors.  Sunlight seeped into the hallway, and Taffy followed the rays out into the hot air.

Sid trailed along.  When I effortlessly pulled Taffy to a stand still, he tipped his hat.  “I think you’ll do just fine, Miss Andi.  See you around.”

“Here we are, Taffy,” I announced to my equestrian friend, pulling Taffy to a halt near the rippling pond.  She neighed her reply.

“I know, girl, it isn’t our favorite spot, but it’ll have to do.  I don’t know how Chad would feel about me venturing quite that far from the house.”

I sighed, reclining in the saddle.  I would just wait here for a few minutes, then head back to be home in time for sup-

A blur of movement put an end to my rambling thoughts.  I glanced around, heart thumping.  “Maybe it was just a deer or something,” I tried to convince myself, but something in my gut told me the cause wasn’t so simple.  

I guided Taffy in a full circle, searching my surroundings with alert eyes.  Nothing caught my attention.

“Whatcha doin’, there, pretty lady?”

I whirled at the voice.  An eerie man walked out of the brush and into the small clearing.  His features triggered something in my mind, but I couldn’t quite-

All of a sudden, it clicked.  The facial hair, the top hat, everything about this man matched the description of who had shot me a little less than two weeks ago.  

“It’s you!” I sputtered.  “Why?  Why did you shoot?  Who are you?  Why are you here?”

The man grinned.  “You’re the one who got in my way.  You Carters have got an awful bunch of land.  I figured you would never notice if I spent some time here on my way to the next job.”

My heart dropped to my stomach.  “What job?”

“A stagecoach robbery.”  The man smirked.  “Anyways, but you and your brother got in my way.  And then you saw me.  So,” the man dragged out his sentence, “I decided I could shoot your brother, take you for some help, and nobody would ever know.  But then you got in my way.”

I gulped.

“I hightailed it outa there, but now I’m back for revenge.  And you can’t protect yourself.”  The man motioned my legs.  “Can you?”

I froze, silent.

“Your family will never know what happened.  That is, unless they search the pond.  Then they might find you.”

I choked, tears lodged in my throat.  It all began to fit together in my mind.  He’s going to shoot me and dump me in the pond.  Or worse, he’ll just throw me.  He knows I surely can’t swim in my condition.

The next instant, I was being dragged off Taffy.  “You can’t hurt me,” I screamed, coming alive with furry.  God, help me.

The man flung me over his shoulder like a sack of wheat and went straight for the pond.  I yelled and flung my arms, but to no avail.  I was just about to give in and accept my fate when my eye caught on something shiny.  

The gun was holstered in the man’s back pocket.  I scarcely thought through what I was doing.  This may be my only chance.

I snatched the gun, cocked it, and shot.  

The outlaw howled his agony and dropped like a stone.  As did I.

Two calloused hands reached out to snag me.  I jammed an elbow in the man’s face and shuffled away before he could react.  A string of bad words filled the air.  

Covering my ears, I gripped the gun and conked the man on the head.

“Thank You, Lord,” I whispered as blessed silence fell. 

After a few minutes of rest, I knew I had to find a way to get home.  Glancing down at my lifeless legs, I wracked my brains for something, anything, that might work.    

I tried with all my might to move my legs.  A toe twitched.

My breath caught.  After half a month of feeling nothing below my waist, it was a shock.  I pinched my calf.  

I let out a giggle at the slight pain.  Sure, it would still be a while before I could full on walk, but Dr. Weaver had explained even slight movement was a sign of recovery.  

I began to half crawl, half drag myself to Taffy, who stood quiet and well-behaved.  Reaching up, I grabbed the saddle bag and pulled it down.  I shoved the fabric flap open and dug my hand into the sack.   When I felt something rough and round, I brought my hand out, grasping a coil of rope.

Phew, that was quite a job, I thought, leaning back to examine my work.  The man lay behind Taffy, rope tied securely below his armpits.  “It sure won’t be a pleasant ride for him, but it’s the best I got,” I confided in Taffy.  “At least he’ll make it back to the ranch alive.”

I shuddered at the thought of killing someone.

One task complete, I focused on Taffy, and how I was going to get up in the saddle.  Though I was beginning to be able to use my legs again, the ability to slide effortless into a saddle had not yet returned.

I sighed and began to pull myself up beside my horse.  Five minutes later, after much scrambling, grunting, pain, and once falling to the ground, I adjusted myself on my mare’s back.

“Okay, Taffy, take me home,” I said, exhausted from my strenuous activity.

My head was resting on Taffy’s neck when the ranch came into view fifteen minutes later.  I spotted a clump of men near the house, mostly ranch hands, but scattered among the bunch were Justin, Chad, and Mitch.  

“They’re probably getting ready to come looking for me,” I mumbled, glancing up.  Night was falling.

I groggily glanced behind me at the burden being pulled along.  He was still and bleeding, but alive.

“Justin!” I croaked in a sleepy voice.  “Could you help me down?”

Heads popped up from the gathering and eyes widened in surprise.

“Andi!”  Chad called out, and his eyes betrayed his astonishment.

“Yeah, it’s me.  Could someone please help me down?”  I repeated.  A dozen men came running for me, but it was Sid’s arms who reached up and embraced me in a warm hug.  

“Take her on inside, Sid,” Chad instructed.  “She can explain later.  For now, let’s allow her to catch some rest.”

Sid nodded at his boss and then took long strides for the house.  “Don’t let that man out of your sight!”  I commanded wearily, all the while being carried toward the house.  Then, turning to Sid, I grinned.  “See?  I told you I could manage.”