Out of the Dark

 by Evy H. (ages 10-13)

 

The world seemed black, or maybe it was just me. To be fair I was wearing black. I looked at the dreadful sight of my Father’s grave. My little seven year old self was confused and heartbroken. But, I just had to except that. 

 

 The next day I walked onto my father’s humble boat, his cap peacefully sat there without an owner. I picked it up and placed it on my head. Though I didn’t understand it’s importance until 8 years later, when my world turned upside down. And I already thought my world was upside down. How wrong I was. 

 

 

8 years later

 

  The street was very busy this warm April morning as I ran to the docks. Woman and girls my age stared at me as if I was an alien, but that didn’t bother me. I am not going to miss it, I am not going to miss it, I told myself.

Ironically, I got there and it was gone. Of course, I missed it. Mother would be sad, but I tried my best at least. My Papa’s boat wasn’t there. Of course it wasn’t. We sold it to them, they gave us the money, and they already took it out on the open water. What else was I supposed to expect. When would they be back, or, a terrifying thought crept into my mind. Would they ever be back?

It is a beautiful day, I warned myself. Of course they would. I had left my Papa’s cap on the boat last night. It’s one of the only things we have to remember him. I searched the dock one more time, then finally hurried to school. I was late which bore consequences.

Some of the kids laughed at me, some stayed quiet, but one girl, Andi looked at me and gave me a signal. At least I thought it was a signal. She put up 10 fingers and then another two, which I supposed meant 12 something. Next she pointed out the window outside. 

I was pretty sure she wanted me to meet her at 12 o’clock outside. I had been at this school for about two weeks now, and apparently Andi had only just recognized me. That’s what it seemed like.

I did meet her outside on time, curious about what she wanted to tell me. “Hi, you figured out my signal”, Andi said with a smile on her face. I nodded my head. “Well, I’m sorry I haven’t said anything to you since you’ve been here. I just couldn’t find the right moment or the courage. I’m…”

“Andi, I know.”

“You’re Ida, right?”

I nodded my head again. Awkward silence. Come on say something, I encouraged myself. “Do you want to walk to school with me tomorrow? I just have to run by the docks first,” I finally managed to ask.

She looked at me a little suspiciously. “Yes, I will. What time do you want me to meet you at the docks?” Andi asked curiously.

“8:30?”

“Sure,” I said. We ate our lunch and talked about ourselves, getting to know each other. Maybe she had a good intention after all.

The next day I ran even faster to the docks then the day before. I was determined to get there before they left for another trip. Luckily, I caught them right before they were about to go.

Out of breath I asked, “Hi, remember me? My Mother and I sold you this boat the other day.”

There were two men, one had a beard and the other had a mustache. That made it easy to tell them apart. The mustache man smiled. “Yeah, I remember you. There something you need?”

“I left my father‘s cap on the boat when we sold it to you guys the other day. I was wondering…” Suddenly, I saw the cap on the bearded man’s head. It was my father’s.

The bearded man saw me glance at his head and said, “Oh, this one? Sorry, I just assumed you guys didn’t want it. Here you can have it.”

As he was about to give it to me he quickly threw it in the water. The men laughed and carried on back to their boat.

I tried reaching for it, then about fell in, when someone caught my arm. It was Andi. Thank goodness she was early. I felt embarrassed to ask but I did anyways, ”Could you hold on to my legs, so I can get it?”

She didn’t know what “it“ was but she nodded. We pursued my plan, I snatched the cap, and she pulled me back onto the dock.

“What was that about?” She asked looking a little bit concerned.

“Oh, it was nothing. Thank you by the way.”

The cap was wet but not too damaged. When we sold them the boat they seemed so kind, I guess that’s a lesson to teach me people aren’t always what they seem, I thought.

“Ida?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Lie.

We talked on the way to school about our families. I learned her Father also died when she was young. We had more in common than I thought at first. Andi looked at my father’s cap then asked if she could hold it.

I hesitated, then let her look at it. She stared wide-eyed at the symbol on the front. “What is it?”

I was very curious about what was so special about it.

“Do you know what this symbol means?”

I wanted to say yes but I honestly had no idea. “No.”

“It’s a military symbol. Was your Father in the military?”

“No, he was a sailor.” Though something about it made my stomach turn. I was starting to second guess myself.

“My father was in the military for a couple years when he was younger,” Andi looked down, probably missing the memories of her and her Father.

I toughened up and pretended not to see her sorrow. 

I came home with a bunch of questions about my father, when I realized no one was home. There was a note on the table. I did know how to read, but sometimes I needed help. Hopefully I could decipher it.

Apparently, my grandma was very sick and my mother had to leave for a week. There was money on the table for groceries. I sighed but carried on with some chores and tried not to think about it too much.

The week seemed to go by so slowly. I could hardly wait for her to come home so I could spill out all my questions. But what if she didn’t answer them? In the past she hadn’t always liked talking about him. It was important I knew the truth about my father.

She came back exhausted and didn't talk much. I figured I’d wait until tomorrow to ask her about my suspicions.

I woke up excited to find out more about my father, hopefully. She was in the kitchen working on something and I found the courage to ask, “Papa was a sailor, right?”

She nodded her head. 

I hit her with another question, “Are you sure? Did he . . . I don’t know, say, work in the military for a couple of years when he was younger?”

She dropped a plate on the floor that I supposed she was washing. “How did you know that?”

I stood there shocked, too stunned to say anything. So I was right. I explained to her about the cap, and everything I had learned. Though not about Andi’s Father.

“Sit down.”

I followed her instruction, not sure if I was ready to take the truth all in. Yet I obeyed. “I should have told you this long ago. Your father was a special man. He worked in the military his whole life, being a sailor was his cover. What he did was dangerous. Too dangerous. If anyone found out what he was doing we all wouldn’t be here right now. He still fought for his beliefs. He was a spy for the military of the U.S army. Wearing that cap every day could’ve gotten us killed. Though, that was your Papa, always living on the edge. I told you he drowned on one of his trips. That was a big lie that I’ll always regret. He was on his most dangerous mission yet. The rest is classified. I’m sorry I’ve lied to you all these years, practically your whole life. I’m an undeserving mother,”

She looked at me with tears in her eyes. I’d never seen her truly cry before.

“I need to get to school. I don’t want to be late.” I walked outside the door, trying not to cry as well. My whole life is a lie, and that is no lie.

I have always dreaded school, but today it was liberating. I could get my mind off of everything that had happened and focus on unnecessary knowledge. It was literally just what I needed.

Andi knew something was wrong with me, yet I didn’t spill. I chose to be quiet, which was a mistake, because others noticed I was too quiet. They realized I wasn’t myself, which meant they knew it was time to strike. 

As I walked home from school I felt like I was being watched. It was probably just my imagination, to be fair I was dealing with a lot of emotions. So I continued on and shrugged it off.

Suddenly, a cold hand clamped onto my mouth. I tried to wiggle free, but that didn’t help. I kicked them, and elbowed them in the stomach. But they didn’t let go. The thing they didn’t know was that I never gave up.

I continued to do anything that would free me, but nothing seemed to work. The person decided to punch me hard in the face, and that solved their problem, but not mine.

My face hurt terribly, but I chose to let this person drag me along into some dark alley. I wouldn’t continue a fight I knew I couldn’t win.

So much for never giving up.

I pretended to be unconscious, but once in a while I’d squint to see my surroundings. I was pretty sure it was a man who held me captive, but you could never be too sure. We were no longer in an alley, but in a boat. My father’s boat. How they got me this far without being seen I had no idea.

Then another thought popped up in my mind. Was it the men who bought the boat that kidnapped me? I suddenly knew what they wanted. Answers. They wanted information about his mission. They must have thought I knew something.

I was taken out into the middle of the sea. The perfect place for these men to investigate, as long as no one was around.

Interrupting my thoughts the bearded man barked, “You aren’t as good as an actress as you may think.”

“Neither are you,” I returned boldly.

The mustache man laughed, though I kept a serious expression. “You must know by now what we want.”

“A better haircut?” This time I did laugh. I only pestered them to build confidence in myself.

Surprisingly it was working. “Tell us everything you know about your father!”

“He’s a sailor.”

“No, what was his true identity?”

“A man.”

Now I was really giving them a hard time. It was all part of my plan, hopefully it’d work.

“She’s hopeless, I don’t think she knows anything,” the mustache man said to his buddy.

“Then we’ll threaten her, until she tells us everything,” the bearded man said as he stared into my soul. “We will drown you, if you don’t tell us everything about your father. He knocked me to the ground. “Isn’t that how he died?”

I nodded my head.

“You don’t want to end up with your father’s same fate, do you?”

I stared at the floor of the boat, then saw a shattered mirror. Though I could make out a reflection of something in the distance. “I won’t tell you anything,” I said.

“Fine.” He grabbed me and threw me in the water. The cold water sent a chill up my spine.

They didn’t have to do anything else, because I didn’t know how to swim. I flailed my arms trying to reach the surface. I heard shouting on the surface, they were there. The sheriff was there, so was my mother and Andi.

Of course Andi was following me at the start. She must have gotten help after she saw what happened. What a great friend.

I kept struggling for the surface, but I couldn’t reach it. I held my breathe for as long as possible.  I kept sinking towards the bottom of the sea. I tried harder this time to reach for the surface. It was so close! I realized it wasn’t close after all when I ran out of breath and my eyes shut. I continued to sink to my doom. My last thought was at least I WOULD’NT die the way my papa did. 

The world seemed black. This time it was. All I could see was black. I heard distant noises but I couldn’t interpret them. My head was spinning and I couldn’t think.

Suddenly, I puked out water and gasped for air. I had never appreciated air this much in my life before. I saw color and the world seemed brighter.

“Ida! Ida!” My mother said in her soft but firm voice. “I love you, and I’m so sorry for all the pain I caused you. You will always be my little girl. Forgive me?”

I hugged her and didn’t let go for a while.

Andi sat by my mother and was as wet as I was. “You saved my life. Thank you. Is there anything I can do…”

“Did your Papa know my father?”

My mother answered for me and said, “He was always talking about his friend in his earlier years. They went on many adventures together and protected their country.”

Andi smiled and then looked at me as if she remembered something. “My father had a cap just like your father’s. He showed us how there was a secret compartment sewn into the top part of it.”

My mother coincidentally had the cap with her. She stared at it for a long time.

“May I?” I asked.

She nodded.

I asked for a knife then cut the strip where it was sewn. Inside there were 2 letters. One for me and one for Mother. I missed him, but I realized that I would always have him in my heart.

That day I discovered true friendship, escaped the blackness that surrounded me, and walked into the light.