Tears & Joy

 by Sofia

Fifteen-year-old Andrea Rose Carter sighed & glanced out the window of her second-story room. She loved going to church & listening to Father John’s sermons, which were always engaging & easy to apply to everyday life, but Sunday afternoons were dreadfully dull. It was especially frustrating when it rained.

"No riding today," she mused.To make matters worse, now that Andi was officially considered a "young lady," she was expected to dress the part. That meant enduring a stiff corset, a lacy white shirtwaist, & an ankle-length skirt. Andi actually quite liked the skirt; Rosa had lovingly made it for her Quinceañera. The waistband was neatly gathered with tiny cartridge pleats, & a ruffled flounce cascaded down from the right side of her waist, wrapping elegantly around the hem. That morning, Melinda had told her she looked just like a princess."I don't want to look like a princess," Andi had snapped back. Melinda had only laughed.

"Oh well, I might as well go explore the attic," Andi decided. "There are plenty of interesting things up there—even the things Mother brought from back east."Andi skipped up the stairs & into the dusty, quiet attic. She skillfully weaved her way past her old wooden rocking horse & Justin’s very first lariat. Around her lay a treasure trove of family history: faded photographs, antique books, old toys, & bundles of dried flowers. Andi smiled warmly as she gently lifted a delicate, brittle flower crown. 

Melinda had made it for her sixth birthday.In an instant, the memory rushed back. “Happy Birthday, Andi!” her entire family had chorused. Luisa had placed a stack of warm, golden waffles coated in sweet syrup right in front of her. “¡Feliz Cumpleaños, Andi!” she added with a warm smile. Then, Melinda had gently placed the crown on her head. Best of all, that was the day Chad had surprised her with Taffy. That was Andi's favorite thing about the attic; it was a sanctuary of wonderful memories.

She carefully tucked the crown back into its safe keeping. Nearby, resting on top of a heavy bookcase, was a glass jar filled with unique buttons. Andi always loved running her fingers through them. But as she stood studying a particularly beautiful silver button set with glittering rhinestones, the slick glass slipped from her fingers.The jar crashed heavily to the floor. Miraculously, the glass didn't shatter; it only suffered a small chip near the rim.

"I'd better clean this up before Chad yells at me," Andi muttered frantically. "The storm is loud outside. Hopefully, no one heard."As Andi scrambled across the floor to retrieve the scattered buttons, her movement caught a heavy old shawl draped over a nearby trunk. The fabric slipped away, revealing a hidden robin-egg-blue cradle.

"Oh! It's beautiful," Andi whispered, her breath catching. It truly was magnificent. The blue cradle was adorned with delicate, hand-painted flowers & fluttering butterflies, surrounded by intricate wood carvings."This can't be mine, because mine was pale pink," Andi mused, her brow furrowing. "And Melinda & Katherine shared a cradle, & theirs was yellow." Her eyes caught on a line of elegant handwriting on the back of the headboard. She leaned closer to read the faded script: Lillian Carter. "Lillian?!" Andi gasped. "I have never heard anyone mention a Lillian Carter!"

Just then, the heavy attic door creaked open.

"I heard a crash, did anything brea—" Justin broke off, freezing when he caught sight of Andi’s shocked, pale face. "What's wrong, honey?" he asked gently.

In a flash, Andi’s face turned from a ghostly white to an outraged, fiery red. "JUSTIN! How... how could you?!" she yelled, her blue eyes instantly welling with angry tears. "First Katherine, & now... Lillian?! No one ever tells me anything!"

Justin held up his hands, completely bewildered. "Andi, why are you mad at me? And who on earth is Lillian?"

"Lillian Carter!" Andi cried out, pointing a trembling finger at the cradle. "I don't know who she is! A sister? Why didn't any of you ever say anything?!"

"Andi," Justin began in his patient, big-brother voice, "I honestly have no idea who she is. I have never heard of a Lillian Carter."

Andi stepped aside to show him the cradle. After he knelt down & examined the delicate carvings, he shook his head. "No, I don't recognize this at all. But I know exactly who we should ask."

The siblings spoke at the exact same moment: "Mother." 

Andi eagerly led the way while Justin carried the cradle as gently as one would carry a fragile basket of eggs. Downstairs, Elizabeth Carter was resting in the quiet parlor, reading her Bible. She glanced up as her children entered the room, but the moment her eyes fell on the robin-egg-blue wood, she gasped. Her hand flew to her mouth.

"L-Lillian's... cra..." She choked on the word & burst into tears.

"Oh, Mother!" Andi rushed across the room to her mother's side & hugged her gently. Justin stood frozen, turning white with fear. Elizabeth Carter, though incredibly kind, was exceptionally tough. She had lived out west by herself, survived a deadly blizzard, & even endured being kidnapped. She almost never cried—& certainly never like this. Andi, who for once actually had a clean handkerchief tucked in her pocket, quickly handed it over. 

After wiping her eyes, Elizabeth spoke so softly it was barely a whisper. "Please, go get Chad, Mitch, & Melinda. It—it's time I tell you all something. Oh, & Justin, may I see that cradle?"

Justin carefully set the cradle in his mother's lap & exited the room with Andi to gather the rest of their siblings. Alone in the parlor, Elizabeth closed her eyes & took a painful trip down memory lane, remembering the radiant joy of a baby girl with soft golden curls, & then… the tears.

Meanwhile, Andi raced up the stairs & burst into Melinda's bedroom.

"Not now, Andi, I'm at my absolute favorite part in Little Women," Melinda sighed without looking up. "Right where their father comes home from the army for Christmas & they all—"

"No, Melinda, it's important! Mother is crying an awful lot & says she wants to tell us something. Hurry!"

Hearing that their mother was in tears was more than enough to make Melinda drop her book & rush down to the parlor. By the time the sisters sat down, Justin, Chad, & Mitch had entered the room. They gathered around, waiting in absolute silence for their mother to speak.

"Years ago, three years before Justin was born, I birthed a beautiful baby girl," Elizabeth began, her voice trembling. "We named her Lillian. She brought so much profound joy into our hearts, but then, about a month before her first birthday, she fell ill with scarlet fever. The doctor told us we could only pray; there was absolutely nothing more he could do. It—it was a grueling three-week battle. We were entirely sure that the Lord was going to call her home. I wept an ocean of tears, but then… she somehow, miraculously, recovered. We held a big celebration for her birthday, & Lillian had a wonderful time eating cake & playing with her toys. But that night..."

Elizabeth broke off, overcome by fresh tears. Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she forced herself to continue. "That night she woke up crying. I picked her up from this very cradle, & she was unnaturally hot. The fever had come back. I rocked her & prayed over her, but it was no use... she died right there in my arms."

All six Carters, even Andi's grown-up brothers, were in tears. Melinda was shaking with heavy sobs.

Elizabeth whispered, "I put my sorrow into the Lord's keeping, as we must always do. Grieving won't change the past, but remember the Lord's promise: 'Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.' Therefore, 'comfort yourselves together, & edify one another,' & 'be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted.' Remember this story, & remember, deep down, to love & cherish each other every single day."

Andi turned to Justin, her heart heavy with regret. "I'm so sorry I yelled at you in the attic. I just jumped to conclusions & thought you believed I was too young to know anything about our family. I was entirely wrong. I have to remember First John chapter three, verse one: 'Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the children of God.'"

Justin offered a warm, playful wink.  "I forgive you, little sister. It's a tough job being the nicest brother in California, but somebody has to do it. Now, let's go eat!"

A collective chuckle broke the heavy tension, & the Carter children wiped their eyes & headed toward the dining room. Left behind for a moment, Elizabeth rested her hand on the hand-painted cradle & smiled. Though a piece of her heart would always grieve for Lillian, she found peace knowing that they would, one day, meet again in heaven. In the meantime, she looked out at the dining room & thanked God for the six wonderful children He had blessed her with.

As she took her rightful seat at the head of the table, Andi looked up & declared proudly, "Mother, in honor of Lillian, & the immense joy she brought to your heart, I am going to name my very first daughter Lillian Joy!"

"Thank you, dear," Elizabeth smiled warmly, a spark of happiness returning to her eyes. "She will live on in our hearts."

Then, the entire Carter family bowed their heads together, truly thankful to God for the wonderful blessings He bestowed upon them.

THE END

P.S. Andi keeps her promise, and one of her twins is named Lillian Joy at the end of Stranger in the Glade, Circle C Milestones book 6