When All Else Fails . . . POV Justin Carter

 By Emelia

October, 1874

 “Justin, why are you awake?”

I smiled at my young sister, Andi. Her innocent question sparked up hundreds of responses, but I decided to pick the most vague one possible. “I’m not tired, so I’m . . . thinking.”

Her dark blue eyes rolled as a small smile flew across her face. Her six-year-old feet pattered gently across the floor, and she pulled herself onto my lap, tucking her lacy white nightgown around her. “I’m not tired either. Can I think too?”

My instincts tell me that she should go back to bed, but my sad and lonely thoughts push me to give her a hug. “Sure.”

We sat silently for a few moments, my thoughts running back to my younger sister. Not Andi, not Melinda, but the girl whose father forbade us to say her name. Kate. My beautiful little sister had run away with that good-for-nothing Troy almost five years ago, which would’ve made her twenty this coming January. 

Where was she? I thought of a million heart-stopping possibilities, and my breath caught as a sob welled up in my throat. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. I relaxed as I remembered the verse Mother helped me memorize so long ago. Lord, you know where Kathrine is. Protect her when I cannot.

“Thinking is boring,” Andi’s girlish voice broke through my prayer. She fixed her innocent eyes on mine and cocked her head, bouncing a little on my lap. “Can we play a game?”

I shook my head. I needed to be a responsible older brother. I was working on that, especially since Father had died only seven short months before. “No, Andi. You need to go to bed,” I slid her off my lap and stood up.

Andi’s bottom lip peeked out a little further than normal, and she crossed her arms. “But I want to stay up with you!”

I sighed, kneeling down to her height. “I know, but you need plenty of sleep. Didn’t Chad say he was going to take you to get Taffy tomorrow, now that she’s weaned?”

Andi nodded, her eyes lighting up. “Yep! G’night, Justin!” She skipped away, and I heard the small thuds as she ran upstairs.

I slumped back in my chair, rubbing my hand against my eyes. What should I do? I can’t not try to find her. Who knows, maybe she’s trying to come back, but Troy is stopping her, I sat up straight. “That’s it!” I unintentionally spoke out loud, and I covered my mouth. No sound was to be heard beyond the regular creaks and groans of our house, and I could barely hold back the shout of glee as I stood up. “I’ll find you, Katherine Grace Carter.”

*****

My eyes scanned the article in the newspaper for the third time. Nothing.

“Justin,” my mother moved to stand behind me. “You are wearing yourself out with this search. It’s too late, there’s nothing to be done.”

I pushed myself out of the chair, throwing the newspaper onto the table with a frustrated sigh. “I can’t give up on her! I don’t understand how someone could just disappear. Surely there’s a trail somewhere!”

Mother smiled sorrowfully at me, picking up the newspaper from where I dropped it. “At least get something to eat. I’ll look in the newspaper for you.”

“You will?” I turned to Mother, my eyes wide. “I thought you didn’t like me looking for Kate.”

“Justin,” Mother’s voice was uncharacteristically sharp, and she lifted her chin. “James is gone, and I can’t get him back,” her voice wavered in a way that I had never heard before. “Katherine is not dead, and if you can get her back, I will most certainly help you.”

I nodded, dumbfounded. “Yes ma’am.”

*****

 “My dear nephew, I understand your sorrow of not being able to locate your wayward sister,” my Aunt Rebecca fanned herself, giving me a patronizing smile. “But you really must stop. Your gloomy demeanor is simply crushing the Christmas spirit.”

I stood up, biting back a disrespectful response. “I thank you for your advice, dear aunt,” I forced a smile as I stepped back. “But I consider it my Christian duty to help others myself, instead of waiting for someone else to do so.”

Aunt Rebecca’s face turned bright red as she fanned even harder. “But Justin, really! If you insist on searching for her, I can hire someone once I get back to San Francisco."

“I don’t believe that is necessary, though I thank you for your kind offer,” I sent up a silent prayer for patience, then gave my mother a little nod. “Now, I am obliged to bid you ladies goodbye, as I must continue my search,” I bowed, then hurried out of the room.

Leaning against the wall, I sighed, rubbing my eyes with my hands.

“Any luck?” Chad leaned against the wall next to me.

I shook my head in a silent “no.”

“Troy is like a slippery snake. Don’t feel bad. I’m sure Kate will turn up eventually,” Chad’s voice was cheery, but it sounded forced.

I turned to look at my brother. “I can’t find her anywhere, but I can’t give up!”

“I just thought of something Father used to tell me,” Chad crossed his arms. “Do you want to hear it?”

I shrugged. “Sure.”

“When all else fails, give it to God.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Wow. That’s pretty wise, actually.”

Chad laughed, a grin spreading across his face. “Well, I did get it from Father, so . . .”

Dear Lord, please find Katherine and bring her home, my prayer lifted a weight from my shoulders, and I straightened. “Did I hear something about a leftover pie?”

“You’re giving up?” Chad was shocked, his eyebrows lifting sky-high.

“No. I’m giving it to God. He can do what I can’t.”

*****

 October, 1880

I jump up. “Who did you say was at the ranch?”

Andi stands, letting out a frustrated huff. “Some fancy lady named Katherine. Do you know who she is?”

I look up, hardly able to hold back a huge smile. When all else fails, give it to God.