by Alison Fritts (ages 14-17)
Fresno, California 1917
Life had not always been easy for Andrea Carter, but God had shown Himself true in many circumstances. His blessings were everywhere.
Andi
was the mother of five children and the proud grandmother of seven. Over the
years, all her children had married. All except her youngest child, William.
William was 21 years old and was in a relationship with Cory’s and Jenny’s
beautiful daughter, Charlette. E
In 1898, Cory and Jenny had moved from San Francisco to take
over Cory’s father’s livery stable after they had learned of his passing.
There, Jenny bore two children, Charlette, now 19 and her last child, Jimmy,
now 17.
William and Charlette were childhood sweethearts. Neither of
them would have ever thought of taking another to the school dance or the
Sunday picnic. When Cory gave William a job at the livery, their young love
bloomed, and their affection grew towards each other more. Everyone knew an
engagement was coming, but war came first.
****
On August 1st, 1914, Germany declared war on Europe.
For most Americans, it was not a worrisome thought. Many made great profits by
selling their goods to warring countries, and President Woodrow Wilson promised
the United Sates would remain neutral. He kept that promise for three years.
But after German submarines torpedoed several neutral ships, killing many
Americans, President Wilson went to the Senate requesting the entering of the
war.
“The world must be safe for Democracy.” His voice rang
out.
On April 4th, the Senate voted 82-6 in favor of Wilson’s request. The House of Representatives followed suit on April 6, 1917 voting 373-50. America was going to war.
***
The news hit America hard. The atmosphere was one of mixed
confusion. Friends, some as young as 14, went arm in arm to fight next to each
other. Many, never to return. Mothers wept. Fathers eyes glistened with pride.
Young girls knitted clothes and rolled bandages. Prayers were frequent and
urgent.
On May 18th, 1917, Congress passed the selected
Service Act. All males age 21-31 were required to register for the draft
locally. As they did, each was giving a number. Then on June 5th,
the Provost Marshall General randomly drew from a fishbowl. As he unfolded the
crudely turn paper, he frowned. He knew the number that he drew would send
someone overseas. Possibly to their death.
****
“William, what is wrong?” Charlette asked worriedly. “You
haven’t spoken a word since our walk around the pond.”
William gripped Charlette’s hand tighter. “I’ll miss our walks
together.”
Charlette stomach dropped. She could feel
William’s hand get
sweaty. “William, what is it?”
“Charlette, I’ve tried to keep this from you as long as I could.” He sighed.
“My number came up.”
Charlette
let out a gasp.
“I leave
on the train Saturday. I’ll be taken to a training camp.”
Charlette
lowered her head to hide the tear that rolled down her check. “I prayed so hard
that this moment would never come.” She said softly.
William
stepped closer to her. “God has a plan for us. Remember no matter where I am,
I’ll always be thinking of you.”
Charlette
nodded her head and gave him a small smile. He gently pulled her into a strong,
loving hug.
*****
Train Depot
“There are so many boys.” Charlette observed, while looking at
all the young men waiting to head to their destination. She personally knew
many of them and cringed as she thought about what laid ahead for them. How
many would return to their anxious family? Would William be left on one of the
battlefields he would soon fight on? The thought of losing him overwhelmed her
and she burst into a fit of tears.
William
put his arm around her. “It will be alright.” He handed her his handkerchief.
“Oh,
William!” She sobbed as she wiped her eyes. “I am sorry. I didn’t want you to
see me this way.” She turned to him and looked tearfully in his eyes. “I just
care for you so much.” The train whistle blew, and William knew it was time to
say goodbye.
“I will be back.” He reached for her hand and squeezed it. “Wait
for me.” He whispered.
She nodded and
wiped her tears. William drew her closed and kissed her. And without taking his
eyes off her, he boarded the train.
As the old engine puffed out of sight, Charlette silently
prayed. “God, please bring him home.
*****
France-on the German Line
“The Kaiser has forsaken us and left us here to rot in these
muddy ditches.”
“Peter! You must not say such things. The Kaiser will never
forsake us!” Peter’s friend Klaus replied.
“Then why are we losing this war? Why are the Americans so
strong?” Peter asked as he poked his finger through the mud.
“I don’t know!” His friend sighed. “But I do know that the
Kaiser is no coward and I have faith in him to help us win this war.” Klaus was
angered by his friend disbelief. “Now shut up,” Klaus hissed. “Before anyone
hears you and reports you as a traitor.”
Peter fell silent, but his mind whirled with questions. Who was
fighting for the Americans?
******
My Darling Charlette,
After 3 months of intense training, I have finally been
transported to France. God has been good. The food is not bad here but tell
mama her pie was well received. We are moving on again, so I must go. You are
in my thoughts, as always. Love forever, William.
“Move back!” Their commander shouted. Another round of shots
broke out. This time, William was a victim.
A sharp pain pierced his side. Blood oozed slowly as he fell to
the ground.
*****
A shot shook William awake. What happened? He
thought to himself. He turned to see what appeared to be a German soldier
shooting in the air. William tried to stand and run but he had no strength. The
German walked over to him.
“Lie still before you reopen that wound.”
William remembered what happened. “Who are you? Where am I?” He
asked the German as he grimaced in pain.
“I am Peter. Private in the German army. We had you under a
surprise attack. You were one of several to be taken prisoners, but when my
commander saw your wound, he ordered me to have you shot. Those shots I fired
earlier were your execution.”
William looked at him painfully. “I don’t understand.”
“Simple.” Peter stuck the gun back into his holster. “I will be
your pass out of here if you will be my pass to America.”
“You mean,” William shot up but then fell to the ground. “You
mean, you will get me home if I help you start a life in America?”
“Yes!” Peter nodded. “I know many of the American customs. And
as you can see,” He smiled proudly. “I can speak English fluently.”
“How?” William asked.
“My mother was an American.” Peter shifted uncomfortably. “Well,
will you take my offer. It will take months,” Peter examined William’s wound.
“Especially since you can’t walk much.”
“I don’t think I have that amount of time left.” William said
breathlessly.
“I am no physician, but I do know enough to take care of your
wound.” Peter held out his hand. “Deal?”
“You do know the American customs,” William chuckled while
shaking Peter’s hand. “Deal.”
****
Charlette ran down the uneven steps of the post office with an
envelope in her hand. Every letter she received from William reassured her that
he was well. They were often short, but she treasured them. With every sentence
he wrote, she knew he had not lost his faith, humor, or his love for her. On
these glorious days that Charlette received a letter, she would ride to Andi’s
house. The atmosphere was a happy one as they shared their letters from
William.
But today was different. As Charlette approached the ranch, she
felt a tension in the air. The eerie silence sent shivers down her spine. She
cautiously knocked on the wooden door, but when there was no answer, she
quietly let herself in. There on the knees, hands clasp together, were Andi and
Riley. There tear stained faces looked upwards, praying fervently.
Charlette froze as she saw a yellow telegram laying on the floor
next to the distressed parents. Half hesitantly, Charlette picked up the
telegram. Her eyes glanced at the word William and then they moved until they
saw the undesirable sentence.
“It’s not true!” She cried with anguish. “I won’t believe it!”
Andi and Cory looked up at Charlotte. “I won’t.” Charlette whispered as tears
flowed on the telegram she held in her hands.
Andi stood up and put her arm around the frantic girl. She
pulled Charlette into a motherly embrace.
“It’s true.” Andi said, choking back a sob. “William has been
captured.”
****
Charlette walked home in shock. She clinched the telegram in her
hand. Her eyes were red and puffy. She was almost blinded by her tears. She
reached her doorstep and slowly turned the door handle. Her family had excepted
William as part of their family long ago. He was dearly loved, and it was she
who would bring the heart wrenching news to her unprepared family. But it was
Charlette who was not prepared for what happened next.
As she walked into the living room, she could see her father supporting
her ghostly white mother. Charlette could tell he was fighting back tears.
Charlette
put her arm on her mother. “Mama, what is wrong?” She asked fearfully. Jenny
tried to answer but no words came.
Jimmy
stepped up to Charlette. He looked at her with a smile and saluted. “Private
Jimmy Blake reporting for command!”
Charlette
dropped the telegram she was holding and sank into a chair, half fainting as
her whole body shook. “No,” She slowly shook her head. “No, Jimmy. This cannot
be true. You are just a boy.” Charlette felt all energy drain from her body as
she thought about what would happen if her brother went off to fight. She
became limp and numb.
Jimmy
frowned and shook his head defiantly. “I will be eighteen next month. Much
older than some of the boys that have enlisted.”
Charlette
shook her head. This could not be happening. Not to Jimmy. Not to her dear baby
brother. “I will not let you go!” She said determinedly.
“Charlette,” He kneeled by her chair. “I must go. It is my duty to my country.”
He said proudly.
Charlette
did not answer. She looked pleadingly at her father.
“He is a
man now, Charlette. We cannot stand in his way.” Cory said sadly.
“Don’t
worry about me sis,” Jimmy smiled kindly. He then put his hand in hers. “God is
in control.” His eyes watered as he looked into Charlette’s eyes. He then
tenderly said. “I love you, sis.”
*****
Charlette
and her parents walked back from the train station in silence. Once again, they
had left a love one behind. Each of them was proud of Jimmy. He saw
responsibility and fulfilled it the best way he knew how. Yet they were all
fearful of the future that laid ahead. Would Jimmy’s fate be the same as
William’s? Or would it be worse?
*****
“Please,
may we rest?” William begged.
“Sure.”
Peter replied while helping William to the ground.
“Tell me,
Peter,” William said as he moved around on the hard ground. “Since we have
known each other for a while now, may I ask you a few questions?”
Peter
scratched his head. “Sure.”
“Why did
a boy, such as yourself, join the war to fight for the Kaiser? Then risking
your life, you disobey orders by keeping me alive, desert your position, and
now flee to America?”
Peter
shrugged his shoulders sadly. “That is the story of my life.”
“I would
like to hear it.” William hoped he was not going too far.
“Well,”
Peter began. “My mother came to Germany from America as a tourist. She and Papa
met and fell in love at first sight.” Peter chuckled. “After they met, Mama
detained her trip back to America. That gave Papa enough time to get to know
her and propose to her.” Peter leaned down and tied his bootlace tighter. “Mama
was so happy, so I was told. Yet, she always missed America. She always wanted
me to live there.” Peter leaned back on a tree.
“It was settled. When I got old enough, we would go as a family.
It was all so perfect. But Papa started listening to the Kaiser’s lies. Mother
and I knew our dreams were broken. We knew Papa would never leave Germany.
Eventually, Papa kicked mama out of the house. He said he did not want to live
with an American. Mama wanted to take me with her, but Papa would not give her
anything she wanted.
“She left
me the address of her relatives. She told me I could always find her there. We
wrote letters for a while, but Papa found out. He sent her letters back
unopened. After that he despised me.” Peter stopped and wiped his forehead.
“And?”
William encouraged him to go on.
“Every
day he told me that I was a disgrace to the family. He was so full of hatred
and bitterness. I couldn’t stand it anymore! I joined the army when I turned
eighteen. I wanted to make him proud, but the things I’ve seen and heard in the
past year made me hate the Kaiser even more.”
“William,” Peter said in earnest. “I am done with killing and hate. All I want
is peace and love. I figured if I could meet up with Mama, I could start over
again. I want a chance in life. I do not want to be ashamed of who I am. I want
to be proud.” Peter lowered his head. “Is that stupid?”
William’s
eyes watered. “No. Our life on earth is short. We should want to live it as our
Creator intended. We are to only fear one Supreme Being.”
Peter
raised his head. “The Supreme Being you just spoke of, is He the one who
protects you Americans and gives you strength? Is He the one that is fighting
for you?”
William
smiled. “Yes, He is also our Creator. Except, when He made the world, it was
full of love, peace, and beauty. It was we humans who sinned and turned it into
a upside-down world. Nonetheless, if we ask our loving Creator, He will forgive
our sins and when we die, we will live with Him in Heaven.”
“Does
this amazing Being have a name?” Peter wondered.
“His name
is God.” William’s smile beamed.
Peter
nodded. “I should have known. Mama knows your God too. She used to say if God
was fighting for you, you need no other. Because He will never leave you nor
forsake you.” Peter smiled as he thought of his mother and the times she would
tell him of her loving Savior.
“Your
mama is wise,” William began. “No matter what I have gone through, God has
always been the one seeing me through.” William rubbed his side.
Peter
looked at William thoughtfully. “I had almost forgotten the stories she told
me. I never saw until now why the world would need love and forgiveness.” Peter
sighed. “I wish she were here now.”
“Where
does she live?”
“In
Fresno, California.”
William
shot up. “In Fresno?”
Peter
nodded his head. “Yeah. She was born there.”
“Peter,” William laughed. “I live in Fresno.”
Peter
eyes widened in disbelief. “That is too crazy to believe.”
William
sat up straighter. “Don’t you see, Peter,” William said eagerly. “God has
crossed our paths for a reason. He is a powerful God. He wants to come into
your heart.”
Peter inched
closer to William. “Do you think you could tell me more about God?” Peter asked
hopefully.
William
smiled as his eyes twinkled. “You bet.”
*****
Christmas Day in Fresno, California 1917
“I can’t
believe you know Mama!” Peter exclaimed.
“Yup!”
William said with delight.
“I will
drop you off at her house and then I will call on Charlette.” William said.
Peter smiled at the name of Charlette. William had spoken so much of her that
Peter felt as though he knew her.
The two
walked until they were standing in front of a small, but welcoming home.
Peter
turned to William. “Thanks again for everything you have done.” Peter said with
emotion. “You gave me my life back.”
“You
saved mine,” William said gratefully. “I hope you find all the peace you
deserve.” He said softly.
Peter
smiled and held his calloused hand out to William. As William shook it, he
looked into Peter’s deep blue eyes. William did not see a boy, but a man. He
didn’t see fear but hope. He didn’t see an enemy but a friend.
As the
two separated, Peter called out. “God bless you, William Carter!”
****
William could not keep his mind off Charlette. What would he say
to her? Since it was dangerous to write, what had happened in the past couple
of months, would Charlette think him dead?
William
froze as he reached his destination. There, sitting on the step, was Charlette.
How beautiful she looked! Her brown hair flew softly in the wind.
William
stepped forward “Merry Christmas, dear Charlette.”
Charlette’s head snapped up. She blinked her eyes in disbelief. “William?"
She whispered in a shaky voice.
“Charlette!” William cried.
Charlette
jumped off the steps and flew in William’s arms.
“I told
you I would come back.” He said, showering her face with kisses.
“I knew
you would.” She smiled gently. Charlette looked down at his handmade cane.
“William, are you alright?”
“I feel
fine now.” He smiled. “It is chilly out tonight for California weather. Why
aren’t you inside?”
“We were about to eat Christmas supper with your folks, but I
kept hoping for a Christmas miracle.” She looked at him tenderly. “I prayed you
would come home.” She grabbed his hand. “Come! What a reunion this will be!”
She laughed. “Everyone will be curious how you got home.”
Home!
What a comforting thought!
Charlette put
her hand through William’s curly hair. “I missed you.”
William
smiled. I am indeed home.
*****
The next
months were heaven to Charlette. Under a doctor’s care, William would
completely recover. But since it would take a while, he was not required to go
back to the war front.
Jimmy
wrote often and William and Charlette’s wedding was set for after Jimmy’s
return.
Peter was
doing well also. He was spiritually growing and had a profound love for his
Creator. He had found a job at the mercantile and he had taken a liking to the
young schoolteacher.
Things
were looking brighter for everyone, until one cold morning. A telegram, along
with a package, arrived at the Blake’s house. Jenny looked at the box
nervously. With shaking hands, she tore the envelope open. At a glance of the
contents, she let out a moan and began crying on Cory’s shoulder.
Charlette
did not have to read the telegram to know what was written. Her beloved brother
had been killed in action. Charlette bowed her head and prayed that God would
give her strength. She glanced at the package, which was addressed to her. With
a look of surprise, Charlette took the package and carried it to her room. She
quietly opened it. She picked up a letter that laid on an envelope.
Jimmy took a bullet for me.
He died a hero. No man could have asked for a better friend. He told me to tell
you that he was at peace with God and to send you this. My condolences, Tommy
Blare
Charlette opened the envelope and drew at a picture. It was Jimmy in his uniform. A tear fell on the picture as Charlette smiled. “My, he looks so grown up.”
Charlette
turned the picture around, and on the back, it read: I love you sis. Don’t forget me. Your loving brother,
Jimmy.
Charlette
tenderly drew the picture to her chest. “I won’t forget you Jimmy. Ever!”
***
On the 11th day, of the 11th month,
of 1918, Germany surrendered. After 21 million men, women, and children lost
their lives. On June 28th, 1919, the Treaty of Versailles was signed
between the Allies and Germany. There was finally peace on the war front.
****
William and Charlette were married in the fall of 1918. Two years later, they welcomed their first child: Jimmy Blake Carter. Like Jimmy, many Americans were not dead. Their memory lived on. As it shall, forever.
Wow! Awesome story, Alison!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful story!!!! i love it!!!
ReplyDeleteSo sad! But you are a great writer. Poor Charlette! I felt like her pain was mine. I love your story.
ReplyDeleteHi Ruth Anne! I am excited to finally get a chance to read and comment on your story.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, may I just say I love the creativity and passion you poured into this? One of the main reasons why I enjoy my job as an academic/writing coach at the university is because it gives me a chance to connect with students, as they all reveal so much of themselves through their writing. The same applies here--I felt like this story was a piece of your heart. The plot line you came up with is great, and I think you executed it well. Charlette and William felt like real characters with whom I could empathize and relate. The areas where you showed and did not tell your work especially pulled me in. My heart warmed over the scene where Peter tells William he wants to leave his bitterness behind, and I enjoyed watching the men's friendship grow as the story moved on.
My only couple of suggestions going forward are, first, to continue to grow in your skill of "showing," not "telling," your scenes. This is something Mrs. Marlow has stressed in the past, and I know I have benefited from taking this suggestion to heart. She talks about this specific skill in her "Writers Roundup" workbook, and she has a writing workshop video on it as well, if you would like to check that out at this link: https://andicartersblog.com/lesson-3/. But mainly, showing your scenes means instead of just narrating a scene to the reader (e.g., saying "Sam ran fast"), you give your readers a more in-depth perspective that draws them in and urges them to use their imaginations to an even grander level (e.g., "Sam ran so that his feet and sides throbbed, and his breath came in gasps").
Also, while I appreciate all the history and information on the war that you included, I would submit to you that you incorporate that more into the story, so that it all melds together and the reader can see it from the characters' point of view. For example, if you want to talk about how many votes Wilson got to go to war, Andi, Riley, William, or Charlette could discuss it briefly.
I feel honored that you would ask me to "review" your story, and I hope my comment could be an encouragement and help to you. Just remember that none of us ever get to that place where our writing is "perfect," but practice truly does make better. Even I, as an author and English major, realize there a LOT of areas in my writing in which I can improve. All that to say, I hope that if you are still age-eligible, you will consider writing another story and trying again with the next annual contest. You definitely have a lot of potential and I look forward to seeing you continue to grow in your writing skills!
Many blessings,
Ellen S.
Nicely reviewed, Ellen. No wonder you are excelling at your new tutoring job! The students are blessed to have you, and I'm sure Alison will be grateful for your thoughts, which are "spot on." ~ Mrs. M
DeleteThank you Ellen for your review. I understand what you mean but I actually went barely over the word limit as it is. Of course I really wanted to grow the friendship between Peter and William and show a little of Peter's life in America but because of the word count I was forced into just stating what happened. So I totally get what your saying. I was a little disappointed I couldn't emphasize the sentences like I wanted to because that always puts a little more drama into the story and let's the reader image what's going on, hence draws the reader in. I appreciate your encouraging and sweet words. I am very passionate on the subject of war(after hearing many firsthand accounts from World War 2) thus instead of a cowgirl story I wanted to do something a little different yet still in the timeframe of Andi's life.
Delete*Fun Fact: The scene when Charlette finds out Jimmy is dead was the first scene I wrote. I already knew I wanted the story to be about World War 1 and on the way home from a long trip while in MacDonald's parking lot I was listening to the song "I'll Remember You" sung my the D-Day Darlings. By the end of the song I had the scene written, as well as the last portion of the story. Though looking back I wish I would had put a little more drama into the part you are right that I put my heart into it. Thank you for your review. May God bless you!
Yes, and I apologize for having to limit you prolific young writers! I know if you had a 10,000 word limit you could have done your story even more justice. :-) But learning to write tightly is a great skill too. It would be fun to look over your story fresh and see if there is any place where you could tighten/cut out other narrative in order to include what you so obviously wished to. It would be a writing challenge.
DeleteI meant nothing against you, Mrs. Marlow, and certainly didn't mean to come across in any way other than appreciation for Ellen's time to write such a thorough review. You are the best and I'm one of your greatest fans! I understand it is necessary to set rules. (I'm just a very detailed person and have so much to learn about writing.😉) I'm so very grateful for the opportunity you give so many people and so often. Your servant's heart and love for God are so evident. You devote so much of your time to this blog and your hard work and patience do not go unnoticed. Though having only met you once (a great thrill at a homeschool conference) I highly respect you. I pray God richly blesses you for all of your kindness to others.❤️
ReplyDeleteHey, I didn't take it as anything but a response to Ellen's comment, my friend! I thought I would simply "expand your horizons" a bit more. LOL
DeleteOh, good. I would feel awful if my comment was misunderstood. I'm excited to work harder on my writing skills. Thanks for everything Mrs. Marlow!
ReplyDelete